(1)My Mind and My Memory: The Beginning
by Me And Not You 1001
Summary: Eponine is a very particular girl and when she is thrown into Middle Earth after an accident, she must conquer the impairments of her mind in order to be of any help to those she's grown to love. Set about 500 years before LotR. The twins, Arwen, a few OCs, Aragorn later. Rated T for torturous scenes and previously talked of torture. The very first part to a series.
1. Explanation

I know I haven't updated in a really long time. I'm sorry to all my readers about that, however, I've decided to change up the story a bit, so it'll take a little more time. I have an idea bouncing around in my head and hopefully I can get it out without being overly confusing.

The chapters I've already posted (along with the rest of **The Beginning** ) will make up the first part of the story, but I'm going to try and pull an X-Men (which has alternate endings) and give Eponine more than one ending. After **The Beginning** , I have three splits, named **Rescued** , **Changing** , and **Lost**. I haven't finished my outline, but so far she has four separate endings, with four different ways things could have happened. I'm hoping I'll end up with at least ten separate endings.

Ex (which contains a small spoiler): Instead of being rescued by Elrond's twins when she's tortured, she escapes herself and has to find her own way home

...that sort of thing.

If you're still interested please let me know and if you're confused, drop a review and I'll attempt to explain it better. I'm seriously sorry if this doesn't make sense.

Thank you, _**Ruler of the elements**_. I'm a bit of a ditz and forgot about FFN's EXTREMELY limited formatting. I hope the clears it up.


	2. Chapter 1 The Accident and Middle Earth

I glanced around my room to double check that everything is in its place, and the time was 7:00 exactly, before I slung my backpack over one shoulder and flip off my light. I walk down to the kitchen and place my backpack in my brother's chair. I got out my bowl and set it on the table, then my spoon and set it on the right of my bowl, then General Mills Honey-Nut Cheerios that go on the left, then the quart of Great Value 1% low fat milk goes above the bowl. I sit down and open the cheerios, but it's gone except the sugar. I race through my memories of the weekend. There was supposed to be some, I left some from Sunday. I've never been wrong before. I feel my stomach begin to flutter, but I shove it down and set the cereal box down. I slowly walk to the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom!" I call up, I can't help the slightly strangled sound that comes with it. She doesn't answer and the fluttering gets worse. I start to hop back and forth from one foot to the other as my head starts to spin a little. "MOM!" I call louder, I am practically in full panic mode, if she doesn't answer I'm going to completely flip and have a full on anxiety attack.

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Her answer causes my head to stop spinning and I stop my hopping, but my stomach still flutters a bit.

"The cheerios are gone!" I hear a sigh.

"Julien! Will you be so kind as to let your sister know when you finish the last of her cheerios?" There isn't an answer from my brother. "Julien! Answer me, or I'll make you go to the store and get her more! Right now!"

"She can shove it up her!" Was Julien's disgruntled reply. "Is that good enough for you?" My stomach flutters more and my breathing quickens, along with my heartrate as an argument is about to ensue and I want to just sit down on the bottom step and cry. I hated it when Julien and Mom fought. Julien hated Mom and Mom hated Julien. The only reason he ever stuck around was cause of me—despite his mean words, they were for Mom, even though they were about me.

"Julien, get your ass down stairs and help your sister! Now!" I can hear him coming to the stairs, grumbling the whole way. I look down and study my feet and try to stop the tears that were blurring my vision. Julien clomps down the stairs, but then stops.

"Oh, Nín, I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I forgot today was Monday." He hurried and got to the bottom and wrapped his arms around me carefully. "Don't worry, Princess. I double checked to make sure there was more incase Mom didn't go to the store before Monday, whenever it was." I nod and try to take deep breaths and calm my heart down. It always made me feel better when Julien hugged me, but I hated it when anyone else did. It actually hurt Mom's feeling, I think, but honestly, I couldn't help it.

He leads me back into the kitchen and sets me in my chair. Then begins rummaging around in the pantry. "Where the hell did she hide it?" He grumbled, then gave an exclamation of triumph. "Here it is!" He appeared with a bright smile on his face and a box of General Mills Honey-Nut Cheerios. He opened it and poured it into my waiting bowl. Then took the empty box and replaced it with the full one. "There you go, Princess, back to normal." I nodded. "You're going to MMA this afternoon right?" I nod and he smiles. "Do you mind if I pick you up today?" I shake and he kissed my forehead. "Thanks, Princess." Then left me to finish my morning routine.

I pour my milk and eat in exactly 5 minutes, before clearing everything up. I put the milk away first, then the cereal, then rinsed my bowl and spoon and left them neatly on the counter on the right side of the sink. I smile in relief as I hear the bus come to a halt at the end of the driveway, just as the clock clicks 7:05. I grab my backpack and run out the door.

I beam at Ms. Penny as she opens the door. "Good morning, Nín, Love."

"Good morning, Ms. Penny." She puts a hand on my right shoulder, just like she has every day for the past twelve years.

"You seem cheerful, Love. I guess there weren't any mishaps today?"

I shake my head. "There were. Julien forgot to replace my empty cereal with a full box after he used it all yesterday, but it was easily fixed and you were right on time."

Ms. Penny smiled. "Well, have a seat, dear and I'll get you to the school by 7:30." I nod and take my seat exactly three seats behind Ms. Penny. A few of the kids that I've known for the past twelve years greet me. I greeted them in return and laid my head on the back of the seat and closed my eyes. I counted to one hundred, exactly three times before I opened my eyes again and looked out the window, enjoying the view, watching the well-known streets fly by.

We passed over one of the really big bridges that go over the Mississippi River and I smile at the amazing sight that never gets old, to me anyway. Then, I'm not sure what made me turn, but I turned and looked over at the window across the aisle, just in time to see a semi flying toward the bus. I didn't know how it happened, or what exactly happened, or how anything worked, all I knew was the looming semi, then the excruciating pain, then the darkness. Maybe I'd remember more details when I go back and look at the memory later, if I ever did.

I open my eyes and blink at the bright light. There aren't any beeps from a heart machine. I don't feel any tubes or wires in me. Where am I? I glance around and catch a tall yet young man sitting in a chair beside me, reading a book. He hasn't noticed I'm awake, so I study him. He has long platinum hair and he's wearing green pants, legging, things, and green shirt to match. I can't see his eyes. To my surprise I see pointed ears peeking out from the hair that covered it. And elf?

I take a deep breath and close my eyes again. I don't feel any pain, but I do feel a little numb, like I'm on pain medication. I take another deep breath as my heart rate speeds up just a bit, I don't like abnormality. I especially don't like not knowing where I am. I squeeze my eyes tighter and clutch the bed sheets around me. I hate accidents and my weird brain was going to freak out anytime soon.

"Are you in pain?" I hear a beautiful, melodious voice ask. I open my eyes to find the young man/elf leaning over me. I meet his eyes and gasp. They are as pale and as blue as ice, but they are bright and hypnotic. I couldn't even put words to them good enough to describe them, and I know a lot of words. "I can call Lord Elrond." He says concerned. I shake my head. A confused look crosses his face. "So you aren't in pain?" I nod and try to take another deep breath, but it's much too shaky. I squeeze my eyes shut again and feel warm tears leak down the sides. "What's wrong?" He asks worried.

"I—" My throat constricted and the words wouldn't come out. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Rotten, useless, broken brain! I felt his warm hand close around mine. I opened my eyes and looked down at the contact, but to my surprise, I felt no desire to pull it away, like I normally do. It was like Julien's touch, only different.

"You're scared." It wasn't a question, but I nodded. "That's okay. My Naneth and Lord Elrond are taking care of you. You were badly hurt when I found you." I looked up into his eyes and for some crazy reason, my fear and anxiety sort of fell away. I nodded. I really like this feeling. I'm going to remember this better than any of my other memories. If that's possible. I actually don't know.

"Can you talk? What's your name?" I meet his eyes again.

"Éponine." He smiled brightly at this.

"My name is Legolas." Before he said anything else, a door opened and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life walks in. She's so beautiful, she could be an angel.

She sees me awake and smiles brightly. "Welcome back. How are you feeling?"

"I—I don't feel anything." I answer hesitantly. I don't. I feel a little numb, but not pain. The lady frowns and walks forward. She pulls back the blankets over my legs and gasps.

"ELROND!" She screams in fear. I flinch at the harsh sound and out of pure abnormal need, I clench Legolas's hand so tight I can feel the skin give beneath my fingernails give and blood trickle onto the sheets. He gasped and looked down at me in surprise, but I'm completely panicking, so I don't give him an explanation. My head is spinning and I can't breathe very well, but my vision hasn't given…yet. A beautiful dark-haired man rushed in and the woman began to talk to him really fast in a language I don't understand. She gestured to my legs, then for some reason touched them. The moment her long graceful fingers came in contact, all numbness that had settle over my stress body vanished and pain suddenly fills the emptiness.

I gasp in fear in surprise and my unstable mind reacts to the abnormality around me. My overly attentive and active memory seizes upon my pain and reminds me of every other time in my whole f***ing life that I've ever felt. I begin to shake and sweat, but chills also cause me to shiver and my heart rate is higher than the freaking St. Louis Arch. I still can't breathe and I can't help the sense of impending death that keeps flashing through my mind. Every memory is as fresh and as new as if it'd just happened. Every panic attack, everything that happened that scared me or hurt me and caused panic. The lack of familiar faces or surroundings to comfort me, weighs on me. The woman and the dark-haired elf both freeze for a moment, startled at my sudden change. I can't focus on anything, because seemingly of its own accord, my eyes keep sweeping the scene around me looking for something of comfort, memorizing the room over and over and over

"Éponine! Éponine, look at me!" Legolas suddenly jerks his hand from min and clamps my face with his hands and forces me to look at him. I gasp at the sudden contact, but before my body can react more, a soothing feeling floods into me, full of reassurance and concern. A pale light begins to glow around beautiful blond. It soothes me and presses security and safety. I instinctively reach up and grasp his wrists, holding them tight, my nails digging into him again. He flinches, but doesn't pull away.

"No one will hurt you." He whispered to me. "Naneth and Lord Elrond are going to help you. You are hurt and they'll help you get better again." I look into his bright eyes and nod hesitantly.

"I-it hurts." I gasp. "I'm scared." I hated it. I wanted something normal. My mind spun and all I wanted was a little familiarity. "I want Julien!" I suddenly cried, pulling up my memories of my brother. "I want my brother!"

Legolas' glow brightens and the sense of comfort and security increases. He strokes my cheek with his thumb. "I know, but it'll be alright. I'll stay the entire time." I don't know how he knew this is what I need and I don't know how this stranger is making calming me down, but its working and I'm not one to complain about help when it comes to gaining control of my body and mind again. Besides, I'd been hit by a semi, Julien wasn't here to help me, I'd take anything at this point.

"Naneth, do what you have to do, but hurry." Legolas commanded over his shoulder at the beautiful woman. She and the other man begin to work. He turns back to me and smiles. I swear if I hadn't already seen his pointed ears, confirming he was an elf, I could swear he must have been an angel, except he was looking a bit paler than when he started.

"You need to keep your mind off the pain, okay?"

I nod. "Do you fight?" I ask. For some strange reason, I find normality and patterns in mixed martial arts. I see the patterns and rhythm in it. I love fighting, the only thing that soothed me more was the piano. I saw the similarities and the patterns in them, and for some reason they made sense to me. Also, when you remember everything that's ever happened in your life, every book you've read, everything you've ever heard in school, book learning and non-physical things are easy. With mixed martial arts and fighting, I actually have to work for the strength I have and the ability. Sure I memorized the moves the first time I saw them, but I still needed to build the body and that took hard work, something I hardly ever had to do. It was nice to have to actually work for something, so I loved it.

I loved piano more because, though I didn't have to work as hard for it, it created music. To me music was and is everything. It is the most beautiful thing on the Earth. I can play just about any instrument, but piano is my favorite because it's such a better looking picture and it was the first instrument I ever decided to play.

Legolas nods at my question and smiles. It sort of lights up the room, his smile. "Yes, with a bow and twin knives mostly."

"What about without a weapon, do you fight?"

He nods. "I can, but I usually take both weapons with me wherever I go, outside the safety of the elven cities."

I flinch as the beautiful woman applies something to my legs, sending cold spikes of pain up through my legs and to my spine. "It sting's!" I hiss. Damn my overly perceptive memory.

The light from Legolas brightens more and he shifts so I can't even see either healer. "Don't pay it any mind. Would you like to hear a story, they always make me feel better when dealing with pain?" I nod, not trusting my voice. I close my eyes the pain and take a few shaky breaths. He's doing a good job blocking the pain—however he's doing it—but I'm still a little nervous and a lot scared. I'm trying my hardest to block out anything but him, including my burning and growing need for something familiar and not painful. My over-clear memory never helps this and I can tell he's growing paler and paler.

"Hey, keep your eyes on me!" I open my eyes and the panic that had appeared on his face vanished as he masked it away. "It's okay. Would you like to hear about the first time I killed an orc?"

I nod. I don't know what in the hell an orc is, but I just want him to keep talking, his voice is soothing and beautiful. Before he can say anything though, his naneth—whatever that is as well—speaks up. "Why don't you sing to her, ion-nin. It will be more soothing." Legolas glanced over his shoulder, then back at me, then over his shoulder again. A wide smile spread across his face and it look like a lightbulb had gone on inside his head. He began to softly sing with the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard.

"Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby  
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay  
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow  
Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune  
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet  
And may you need never to banish misfortune  
May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

May you bring love and may you bring happiness  
Be loved in return to the end of your days  
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you  
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay"

I listened to him sing. It was so beautiful and familiar. I don't know how he knew the lullaby that Julien used to sing to me when I was little, but I wasn't about to object to even a little familiarity. Just as he finished, the beautiful woman came forward and handed him a clay cup.

"Have her drink it all." He nodded and turned to me. He held up my head and pressed the cup to my lips. I took a sip and automatically spit it out and shove the cup away.

"What the hell!" That was the nastiest stuff I'd ever drank, and I've been taking pills and medicine since I was born. Legolas chuckled and nodded.

"I know, I know, but you need to drink it all." I frowned at him. "Oh, come on, drink it up!" He held the cup to my lips again, and reluctantly I part my lips and let the fowl liquid slid down my throat. He chuckled again as I made a face, but I began to panic as my vision blurred and my mind started to go all fuzzy. "It's okay!" Legolas called, his voice fading out. "You need rest and the drink is helping you sleep."

I took a deep breath and nodded as my eyes grew heavy. I took his hand tight in mine. "Please, don't leave?" I begged. He'd become my normal in like ten minutes. If he left I would have a serious panic attack and die. Well, not die for real, but I'd definitely give these elves a run for their money in trying to keep me functional and not destroying everything within reach, wounded legs or not.


	3. Chapter 2 OCD and Hyperthymesia

I became aware of the world again. I didn't open my eyes right away because my head was pounding like I'd been Spartan kicked into a brick wall—yes I do know what that feel like, from experience. My legs felt a mostly numb again, with only occasionally dull shots of pain.

I finally opened my eyes and looked around. It was dark and the only light was from the moon filtering in through the window I'd seen but not noticed before. Legolas sat in a chair beside the bed with his head resting on the bed. He was using one arm as a pillow and the other clasped my hand. His eyes were open but glazed over and moving rapidly, like humans do when their dreaming. He looked rather peaceful, if not slightly uncomfortable.

I just watched him breathing in and out softly. The quiet, the relative lack of pain, the darkness broken only by the pale light of the moon, all came together to give me a rather peaceful, un-stressed feeling. It was nice, however much I hated my lack of knowledge of my condition and where I was and what had happened.

Lost in thought, I hadn't noticed Legolas had woken up until he sat up and stretched. "Hey." I said softly and his eyes found mind and he smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much right now, I think I'll live."

He chuckled and yawned. I smiled a little. "You looked kind of uncomfortable."

He shrugged this time. "There are definitely better ways to spend the night, but I didn't want you to panic if you woke up and I wasn't here like you asked."

I smiled at his hand that was still clasped around mine. "Thanks for that." I said softly. "I don't deal with sudden change or any abnormality very well." I took in how big the bed was—not for the first time, but for the first time of note—before patting the space beside me. "Why don't you lay down all the way?"

An uncertain expression flashed across his face. "I don't—"

"Please?" I begged. Even though the moonlight made him look pale, I could tell it wasn't just that. Whatever he'd done earlier, it's made him weak. "You need to sleep too, but I don't want to be alone." I took his hand again. "Please?"

He sighed. "Fine, but if I get in trouble, I'm blaming you." I smiled as he slipped off his boots and crawled up next to me. He laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. I smiled at him one more time before closing my eyes and letting my usually busy mind drift off. I was freaking exhausted. I was beyond exhausted.

Whispering combined with the bright light of the sun woke me up the next morning. "He wouldn't do it unless she said he could, you know him!" The voice sounded vastly confused and worried. It sounded like the beautiful healer, Legolas' naneth.

"I know, Tarellethiel. Calm down."

"I'm sorry, Elrond. I just don't like this!" She sighed. "Why—" she stopped like she wasn't sure what she was even asking.

"It's alright, Tarellethiel. Let's check her quietly and go. They both need sleep."

Tarellethiel —what on earth was a naneth—sighed again. "I don't like how much of his fae he used yesterday, to calm her down."

"You worry too much, Tarellethiel. He just has a big heart. Besides, you couldn't have done it."

I finally decide to open my eyes before Tarellethiel could answer. I blinked and squinted. The light was way freaking brighter than I'd originally thought.

"Good morning, penneth." Elrond, the beautiful dark-haired elf from before smiled down at me. His eyes were a beautiful sterling gray and though his face looked young, his eyes looked wise and full of age. I'd already seen all of this but seeing and noticing were about as different as hearing and listening, also something I do a lot.

"Morning." I answered.

"We're going to check your legs, then perhaps you can eat some breakfast for us." I nodded and watched as they began to undress my legs. I couldn't help the gasp that flew out of my mouth when I saw them. I don't remember seeing them before.

They were red with the skin mostly stripped away. They had violent burns covering them and just by staring at them the pain increased. Nothing was broken or looked broken, but what skin that was still there was covered in black-blue-purplish bruises. Seeing them gave me the most overwhelming feeling of helplessness. And my MMA. What on earth was I going to do without being able to fight? I needed MMA. I needed the patterns, the freedom, the strength, the challenge. I need my schedule and my practice every afternoon.

I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that began to pour down my face and tightened my hold on Legolas' hand. In an attempt to forestall any panic attacks I wrapped myself in my memories of Beethoven's Symphony No. 1. I blocked out everything else entirely seeing only the flow of the black and white keys of a beautiful grand piano as they should be if I were actually playing them myself. Hearing the other instruments going along creating the aweing beauty of music.

I didn't want to care or worry about the pain in my legs and my spine. I didn't want to care about the voices that spoke and called for me. I didn't want to care about the strange world I was now in and how I'd gotten there. I didn't want to think about Mom and Julien. I didn't want to think about all those kids I'd known for twelve years or Ms. Penny, who'd been in the accident with me. I didn't want to know about the semi driver and why he'd hit us. I didn't want to know about whether it was an accident or not.

I didn't want to care.

I didn't remember falling back asleep. But eventually my mind shut off its fear and worry long enough to catch a few winks. This time, I woke up when something brushed my face. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the most beautiful ice blue eyes. They were bright and despite their inherently cold color, they were warm and kind. And as before, despite my great knowledge of many words, there didn't seem to be a good enough one to describe what I felt for those eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Legolas asked, with a beautiful warm smile. The smile was framed by long pale, platinum hair that complimented his perfect eyes and made his tan skin glow. His face was young maybe 18, possibly 19, 20 was definitely pushing it. His eyes. His perfect eyes were so bright and mesmerizing. I couldn't not look at them. They looked old, full of hidden pain, but had all the mischief of a youthful boy of 18.

"Better." I answered. He brushed more hair off my face and I couldn't help the heated blush that rose up. Not because I didn't want him to touch me, but maybe because I did. "Did you get enough sleep?" I asked, hoping to distract myself.

He nodded. "I'm starving! What about you?"

I nodded slowly, a frown spreading across my face. He had to bring it up, didn't he? I don't know where we are, but I don't think they have Cheerios here. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?" Legolas' concerned questions didn't help as I tried to fend off the impending doomed feeling that my stupid broken mind was making me feel.

Now, because he mentioned it, my legs began to throb and sting. I took deep breaths, but my vision tunneled a bit. "I—um—" What was I supposed to tell him? Hell, what was I supposed to tell myself? I got physically sick if I don't eat the same _normal_ things. My brain hated new things and change. And my brain was in charge. It rejected everything out of my schedule, hence the panic attacks that always seemed to be there, threateningly, ready to send me over the brink.

"Éponine, what's wrong!?" He cupped my face in his hands and forced me to stare into his beautiful eyes.

"I can't eat." I whispered softly. I pushed down the nausea and butterflies that played in my stomach. Why? Why was I so strange?

"Why?" He asked, echoing my thoughts, almost perfectly. I must have looked how I felt, as his question was followed quickly by another. "Are you going to be ill?" He felt my forehead with the back of his hand.

I tried to blink away the tears as I looked away from him. I couldn't say no and be honest about it, because I didn't know. I never knew. Yes I have my schedule and yes I have every memory of every time I'd had a panic attack and how I'd reacted, but for some reason I could analyze and understand others based on the experiences I remember, but never myself. I was always the one mystery I could never solve.

I might have answered him, but the door opened and my fading confidence and need for comfort vanished completely and I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be judged by the strangeness that I couldn't control. I'd already seen the judging and it hurt and I couldn't forget about it. I hated it and didn't want it anymore.

"What's the matter, Legolas?" Elrond's voice asked. I didn't look at either of them while Legolas answered, desperate for the healer to fix the problem. My problems. The ones I'd had my whole life and never been able to fix myself.

I hated this. I hated me. Why am I like this? Why am I so strange and broken? Why couldn't I be like normal people and deal with change and accidents? Why couldn't I forget? Why couldn't I be like Julian, independent and free? Why'd I have to rely on MMA and music to keep me sane and fill my day with the necessary patterns to ease my twisted brains and not overload my poor memory intake?

I didn't want to cry in front of them. I hated when people saw me. They automatically thought I was weak but crying made it worse.

Éponine, child, what is wrong?" Elrond came around the bed and knelt in front of me. He brushed a stray tear off my cheek and smiled warmly, even if there was a bit of pity in his eyes. "Will you not let us help you, penneth?" Strange, his touch was much like Legolas' and Julian's, soothing and gentle. I didn't mind it.

I stare at him a moment before letting my eyes slide pat him, resting on nothing in particular. "Please, penneth. Let us help. What ails you? We cannot help if we do not know." His voice was soft and soothing, like the Mississippi on a nice day, when you can hear the water flowing past, falling over itself, with birds singing in the bulrushes.

"You can't help." I finally answer. "I'm broken." No truer words spoken. My brain was weird and broken. Releasing fear, adrenaline, and anxiety at the stupidest, unnecessary things.

"Nay. No one is broken. Everyone was made exactly as the Valar wanted them to be." I looked over at him. Valar? Just another strange word to add to the list.

Valar, penneth, naneth, ellyth, ion-nin, orc. What's with them? I understand they're elves and all, but can't they just speak normal. I've already hit the it-can't-get-any-worse-stage, they don't need to make it worse than the worse. There's only so much I can take before I have a full on stroke from over-load on the brain.

"Legolas, why don't you go clean yourself up and eat some breakfast. I'd like to talk to her alone."

I ignored Legolas when he promised to be back. It was mean, yeah, but I have self-esteem issues and it often comes out on others, especially I don't know them. Elrond was silent for a long time after he left, but I didn't mind. Silence was normal and nice, for me.

However, after a time, I jumped and my eyes flew back to the older elf when he gently stroked my cheek. "What is wrong, bainpen-nin? Why do you find yourself broken?"

He sat beside me on the bed, stroking my hair lovingly. His eyes were soft and kind. His hair was dark brown and shimmered like silk. He seemed, to me, to glow. He was so beautiful. It made me wonder. Legolas, Tarellethiel, Elrond, they were all really, really beautiful. Where all elves like that, or where the few elves I've actually seen special.

I didn't say any of this. "I want to sit up," was all my answer. He nodded. He stood and slipped his arms under my back and knees. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he effortlessly lifted me and sat me up. He arranged the pillows around me to support me right.

Then he sat again, facing me. He studied me with a sort of awed-starry-eyed look, like _I_ was the amazingly beautiful one. "I am broken." I said again, after a long time.

"How so?" was his answer. I guess he gave up telling me I'm not.

I looked down at my hands and couldn't help wonder how I'd come out with only injured legs, with burns of all things. When I looked back, the accident memories were fuzzy, something I wasn't used to. Well, not fuzzy, confusing. Even looking back it was hard to take in everything happening at once. Hopefully, with time, I can get the whole picture and understand it all. Something I hate, like change and unfamiliarity, confusion. Usually I understand everything I pick up. I have over ten times the memories of everyone else, even just being seventeen, with all those memories, knowledge comes easily. Everything is there in actions and pictures. I used all the references I had and I could easily understand. I guess I got used to it, so when I can't understand, it irritated me.

"My mind," I didn't know what to say, so I gave the technical and medical diagnosis. "I have a mental disease called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD and hyperthymesia."I wasn't looking at him, but he probably nodded. "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease his or her distress.

"Most people have obsessive thoughts and/or compulsive behaviors at some point in their lives, but that does not mean that we all have "some OCD." In order for a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder to be made, this cycle of obsessions and compulsions becomes so extreme that it consumes a lot of time and gets in the way of important activities that the person values."

I finally look up at him. He's got his head tilted to one side and his eyes are thoughtful. I sigh. "There's more from the source that I got that from." He nodded and I smiled slyly. "It covered what it feels like pretty good.

"Here is one way to think about what having OCD is like: Imagine that your mind got stuck on a certain thought or image…Then this thought or image got replayed in your mind over and over again no matter what you did…You don't want these thoughts — it feels like an avalanche…Along with the thoughts come intense feelings of anxiety…Anxiety is your brain's alarm system. When you feel anxious, it feels like you are in danger. Anxiety is an emotion that tells you to respond, react, protect yourself, DO SOMETHING! On the one hand, you might recognize that the fear doesn't make sense, doesn't seem reasonable, yet it still feels very real, intense, and true…Why would your brain lie? Why would you have these feelings if they weren't true? Feelings don't lie… Do they? Unfortunately, if you have OCD, they do lie. If you have OCD, the warning system in your brain is not working correctly. Your brain is telling you that you are in danger when you are not."

Before he can say anything about my explanation—that technically belongs to the International ODC Foundation website—the door opens and Legolas comes back in. He's followed by Tarellethiel.

Tarellethiel looked like an angel. I haven't seen any other elf women but I felt like she was beyond beautiful even to elves. Her hair was short, which was weird I think, but I'm not sure why. It was beautiful still and her eyes were gray not unlike Elrond. She was thinner than I imagined an elven woman to be and she had a hungry, starved look about her. Her dress was simple in design but shimmered elegant and silver. It fit her body but still flowed and moved easily like a gentle wind. She looked like a queen.

Legolas—He—I can't even say. Just seeing this elf pulled at my heart strings. It was really sappy and mushy when I thought about it but it was the truth. His hair was wet as if he'd taken a bath. It looked a little darker from the water and wasn't braided. He'd changed and was wearing a dark green tunic—I think it's called—and leggings. His boots were only laced partway up and he didn't look like he'd eaten. But technical physical appearances aside, he looked like he glowed, just like Tarellethiel and Elrond. But unlike them, there was something, something I couldn't figure out, that spoke to me. And it soothed me in a way that not even Julian could. Like when he'd calmed me down the first time I woke up.

I stopped talking and Elrond turned. Legolas smiled at me. "Did talking with Lord Elrond help?"

"We aren't finished, but as long as she doesn't mind, you may stay if you wish."

Legolas walked around the bed and sat where he'd been before I let him sleep with me on the bed. "Éponine, you already met her, but officially, this is my naneth." He gestured. "Queen Tarellethiel."

I smiled and bowed my head. Guess I'm a good guesser. She inclined her head in return. "I hope you are feeling better." Queen Tarellethiel said. I'd already heard her voice, but it's so beautiful it's worth mentioning.

"Hyperthymesia?" Lord Elrond then prompted. I turned to him, but Queen Tarellethiel interrupted.

"Hyperthymesia?" She asked.

"Hyperthymesia or Superior Autobiographical Memory is the condition of possessing an extremely detailed autobiographical memory. People with hyperthymesia remember an abnormally vast number of their life experiences." I'd been told that I had it when I was twelve years old exactly eight and a half days after Christmas. Stupid doctor hadn't bothered to tell me what it was exactly, so I'd looked it up on Google. That was the exact answer it gave me. The first link I clicked on gave me this, "Hyperthymesia, or Superior Autobiographical Memory, has become more prominently known thanks to a TV series (Unforgettable) and the publicity surrounding Marilu Henner, who is one of only 12 known people in the world who are able to remember their lives on a day-by-day basis. People with hyperthymesia are able to remember the events of any given calendar date, usually back to puberty, with stunning and accurate detail. They can compare similar dates, or catalog days where the weather was rainy or they were in a certain place. Superior Autobiographical Memory makes it possible for individuals to use their minds like databases, remembering unusual details such as the clothes they wore, whom they may have met that day, and what they ate for lunch, even decades after the original event. A 60 minutes report on hyperthymesia with Leslie Stahl also indicated that people with this talent have a difficult time with relationships, which may be a side effect of always being correct about details, conversations, and things that happened. This may make it hard to argue with someone with Superior Autobiographical Memory, or (alternatively) it may be difficult to lie to someone who can analyze everything you have done on a day-by-day basis and figure out any holes in your story. .org."

They were surprised at my first answer. The last part simply stunned them to silence. I looked between the two older elves, staring at me not knowing what to say, then to Legolas. He had a strange look of awe on his face, before a smile broke forth.

"You remember everything?" He asked.

I nodded. "A blessing and a curse."

He chocked his head to the side and studied me, but whatever he was about to say was lost when my stomach growled, loudly. I burst out laughing and he cracked a smile at me. "You hungry?" He asked. I nodded, still laughing.

"What would you like, child?" Lord Elrond asked. I turned back to him, just in time to catch him hiding a smile of his own.

"Tomatoes!" I answer without even thinking on it. "When in doubt, I can eat as many tomatoes as you put before me!"

His eye brow rose and he exchanged looked with Queen Tarellethiel. She shrugged. "We might as well get her what she wants, at least until we can get a healthy diet set up of things she'll eat."

He nodded and rose. "I'll get them." He smiled warmly down at me. "You're ready to be moved to a more permanent room, why don't the three of you handle that while I'm gone?"


	4. Chapter 3 I am an Elf?

**Thank you for all your reviews. I had to ask about the story because I feel like I did the first two chapters so well, then time went on, I didn't want to accidentally do something wrong. Anyway, thank you all and here's the third chapter, I hope it does the others justice.**

Legolas gathered me into his arms, which was kind of unnerving. He acted as if I didn't weigh anything and seemed more worried about hurting my legs than dropping me. Out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around his neck. His soothing glow brightened, and although I didn't usually sleep as much as I had been, it was making me sleepy.

He carried me out of the room, with Queen Tarellethiel following. The hall was beautiful and elegant, very similar the room I'd been in. It smelt of herbs and other medical type things and there were beautiful and elegant elves moving about, all with a purpose. This, however, didn't stop them from pausing in their work to bow and acknowledge Legolas and Queen Tarellethiel.

Legolas carried me through a beautiful marble and stone mansion. I didn't bother thinking about where everything was, as he was explaining it the whole time, because I could always go back later, if necessary. We finally stopped in a hallway as beautiful and as elegant as the rest of the place, except much more empty and secluded. There were beautiful oak doors lining both sides of the hallway and the decorative furniture consisted of a few tables with plants, of some kind, and random chairs.

"This is the family wing." Legolas said. "It is where Lord Elrond, his family, closest friends, and most honored guests live and sleep."

I looked at him, then at the hallway, then at him again. "So why are we here?" I asked, rather stupidly, I might add. This was a lot of new to take in and even with the constant soothing warmth, coming from Legolas, I was beginning to get rather agitated. I wanted to lay down and close my eyes and not think about anything, if only just for a little while.

Legolas' chuckle reminded me that I'd actually asked him something. "Because you are special, and Lord Elrond would have you as comfortable as you can be."

I nodded and buried my head in his shoulder, sick of the sight before me and eager to for him to set me down.

"Are you all right, penneth?" Queen Tarellethiel asked, her voice stitched with concern.

If one more person called me that stupid word, I was going to throw up. I just wanted to lay down, and maybe sleep, and definitely forget about the accident, and maybe be sung to by Legolas, and definitely eat, definitely something familiar, and I definitely, beyond every ounce of a doubt, wanted to know what in the Hell was going on.

Never actually saying any of what was going on in my mind, as usual, I simply nodded. "Just tired." Not a lie, I was growing increasingly tired and increasingly agitated, and when in doubt and getting anxious, do exactly as your body wants.

"Come, Legolas. Let us get her to her room, so she can sleep."

Legolas began to walk again. A door a bit down the hall opened and closed, and when I looked up we were face to face with two identical, dark-haired, gray-eyed boy elves. They looked only a little older than Legolas and looked almost exactly like Lord Elrond, except younger.

"Elladan, Elohir, mae g'ovannen." Queen Tarellethiel greeted. _Mae g'ovannen, is more than one word, but it's still elvish, so I guess I can count it._

"Mae g'ovannen, my lady." They answered in perfect unison, bowing to her, also in perfect unison. "Is this the young elleth you found, Legolas?" one of them asked, both studying me.

"Yes." Legolas answered as I filed away another strange word. "This is Éponine. Éponine, these are Lord Elrond's sons, Elladan and Elohir."

They both bowed to me. "It is a pleasure to meet you, my lady."

I didn't answer, simply studying the two. I could see the gleam of mischief in their eyes and the cocky grins at were just under the surface. These two were mischief-makers, no doubt about it. They were pranksters and jokers, like the Weasley twins from Harry Potter. However, I could also tell that they were kind-hearted and probably healers, if they followed their father. Speaking of which, just like their father, they were very beautiful, gorgeous even.

As I studied them silently, they began to shift their feet nervously, undoubtedly at my lack of an answer and my hard stare. "Nice to meet you too," I answered at last, but before anything more could be said, two other doors opened, one near the far end of the hall on the right and the other all the way at the end on the left. Two very similar female elves stepped out one door and a male elf that looked almost exactly like Legolas appeared from the other one.

The female elves were obviously related. One looked older and had beautiful silvery-blonde hair, while the other's was the color of Lord Elrond's, except had the same smooth wavy texture as the first. The dark-haired elf had eyes exactly like Lord Elrond's and the twins', but the blonde elf had a deep blue. Both were wearing similar ivory-colored silken dresses that flowed around their body much like Queen Tarellethiel's dress.

The male elf looked just taller than Legolas. He had the same platinum hair and icy-blue eyes. He was very muscular with ivory skin and had the bearing of very regal king. He wore red and gold robes that flowed around him in regal, beautiful, elegant waves of expensive fabric. In his hair, he wore a beautiful silver circlet that looked like twigs intertwined and circling his very noble brow. The only major difference he bore from Legolas was the fact that his eyes, though the same color, held no warmth. They were cold and hard, worn and wise from many years.

"Celebrian, Arwen, Thranduil, come meet Éponine." Queen Tarellethiel said, drawing the three elves' attention.

"Éponine, this is Lady Celebrian, Lord Elrond's wife." The beautiful blonde. "Lady Arwen, their daughter." The dark-haired elf, also very beautiful but in a more urethral way. "And my ada, King Thranduil." The male elf that looked so much like Legolas, and was—a king. I really am a good guesser. _Adding ada to my list of unknown elvish words._

"It is a pleasure to see you awake and well." Lady Celebrian said kindly.

"A pleasure to meet you," was Lady Arwen's answer.

The king simply nodded, before moving to Queen Tarellethiel. "How are you, meleth-nin? I do not like how much work you've been doing." _Meleth-nin, added._

"I am fine, mell-nin." Was her loving answer. _Mell-nin, also filed away._ "Éponine needs all the help and comfort she can get." She placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Come, why don't we all show Éponine, where her room is."

With Queen Tarellethiel leading the way, the eight of us made our way about half way down the hall, stopping at a door on the left. They all talked amongst each other, but I laid my head on Legolas' chest and tried to ignore them, as we walked into the room.

It was beautiful and elegant. There was a fireplace, four-poster bed with a soft rose spread on it, a window seat with cushions and curtains to match the spread, large windows that lead to a balcony also with curtains, two oaken doors that probably led to the bathroom and closet, a chest at the end of the bed also oaken, and a set of couches and chairs in front of the fireplace.

Legolas took me over to the bed and set me down. "Lord Elrond said that you may stay as long as you like, but you can't leave until he says your better."

I nodded, then frowned. He looked pale, like he'd been working too hard after being sick. "You shouldn't have carried me." I said. "You look sick."

"I'm fine." He said, waving away my concern, but judging by the faces of the king and queen, they didn't like it any more than I did. I accidentally made eye contact with King Thranduil and the glare he sent me would have murdered me in the most brutal way, had looks been able to kill.

I scooted over, further onto the bed, then pulled Legolas' arm, so he sat down beside me. "You need to rest as much as I do. I may not know what you did yesterday, but I can tell you used a lot of energy. And if you don't rest, you might get sick."

He gave me a surprised look, then smiled softly. "You're rather perceptive, aren't you?"

One of my eyebrows rose as I looked at him. "Really?" I asked, sarcastically. "I don't think so, it's not like I've got over ten times as much memory as you do."

He chuckled. "I'd believe that. Are you always sarcastic?"

I nodded. "The greatest defense against stupid questions and stupid people is sarcasm. You can tell people to their full of shit and they won't ever know."

This time the whole room burst out laughing, even King Thranduil cracked a smile. "Wow, you're going to get along with Ada well. He's the exact same way." Legolas said, throwing a cocky grin at King Thranduil.

At that time, Lord Elrond appeared in the doorway, carrying a tray of food. "Well, well, well. If I'd know it was a party, I would have brought more. However, since I didn't you all need to leave so our young patient can get some rest, after she eats."

Just then my stomach informed the whole room that it was hungry. I blushed, but couldn't help the giddy feeling I got just from thinking about tomatoes. Now, when I say I love tomatoes, what I mean is, I would eat tomatoes every day, all day, for the rest of my life if I could.

The elves left the room, all except Legolas, Queen Tarellethiel, King Thranduil, and Lord Elrond. "Legolas, I brought you something as well, because I figured you didn't eat when I told you to."

This time Legolas blushed. "I was worried about Éponine."

I chuckled. "Oh, how sweet." I said shoving him over. He yelped as he almost fell off the bed, but before he could shove me back, the queen intervened.

"Don't you dare, Legolas. She's wounded, and you're tired, neither of you should be shoving the other."

"Yes, Nana." He said, throwing me an exasperated look. _Nana, added to the list._

I chuckled at his antics, Lord Elrond joined me, as he set the tray on the bed between us. "Eat you two. Then I want you both to sleep."

The assortment of food on the tray was rather interesting. There were tomatoes, of course, along with other vegetables and fruits, but there were meats, grains, dairy, and even a few sweets, most of which I didn't really recognize.

Legolas immediately went for a slice of cake covered in what looked like honey. "No!" Queen Tarellethiel slapped his hand. "Absolutely not! You will eat something sustaining before you favor your sweet-tooth."

I chuckled, then feeling a bit mischievous, because I was feeling much more comfortable, I licked my finger and stuck it in the middle of the cake. "That's mine." I said with a devilish grin, licking the honey off my finger.

Legolas let out an indignant cry. "Hey! That's not fair!"

Queen Tarellethiel burst out laughing. "That is what you get, ion-nin, for trying to eat sweets first." _There was that word again._

Lord Elrond smiled at me and winked. "Well played, bainpen-nin." _Added to the list, although he said it earlier, now that I think about it._ Then clearing his throat, he continued. "I brought up an assortment, because I wanted to see what you would try. If we can find things familiar to you, then we can create a stable menu." I nodded and out of the corner of my eye, I saw King Thranduil giving Queen Tarellethiel a questioning look.

Legolas picked up a fork, speared a sausage, picking it up, and began eating it off the fork. I began cutting a slice of tomato into pieces as I watched him eat, waiting for Queen Tarellethiel to notice Legolas' sudden lack of manners. "Do you have salt?" I asked Lord Elrond.

He nodded and with a kind smile, exited the room, but not before touching Queen Tarellethiel's shoulder. "I'll return in a moment." Both king and queen nodded. They looked over at me at the exact same time and the exact same questioning look appeared on their faces at my smirk.

I glanced over at Legolas, as he speared another sausage, then back at the couple. Their eyes followed mine and both frowned in parental disapproval. "Legolas Thranduillion, were you raised in a barn?!" King Thranduil asked with a frown.

The offending elf looked up innocently. "What?"

The king frowned and folded his arms across his chest. "Since when do you eat like that? Just because you are not eating at a table does not mean you forget all your manners. You're going to make an ill impression on your companion."

Legolas glanced at me and his face when pink, even the tips of his beautiful pointed ears were pink. I couldn't help the very girlish giggle that escaped me. He was so adorable with that look of cluelessness on his face.

Queen Tarellethiel let out a sigh and took pity on the obviously blonde boy. "Cut your food and take smaller bites, ion-nin. As your fathers says, you were not raised in a barn, so don't act like it."

Father? Is that what ada means, father? Then that would mean naneth and nana are probably some form of mother. Making ion-nin…son? I shook my head, whatever, the list was big enough as it is, without me trying to guess meanings.

"Is something the matter, penneth?" Queen Tarellethiel asked, drawing the attention of both males.

I started to shake my head, then changed and nodded. "What does it mean?" I asked, then mentally kicking myself, I clearified, "Penneth, what does it mean?"

The three exchanged confused looks. "You don't know what penneth means?" The queen asked.

I frowned. "No, why should I? I've never even heard of elves until I woke up and saw Legolas." Legolas' face lost all color and he looked as if he was going to faint. "Legolas, are you, all right?" He didn't answer, just stared at me like I'd grown a second and third head. I looked back at the two adults, they too were looking at me strangely.

I began to get butterflies in my stomach and my head began to spin a little. "I'm confused, why do you guys look so shocked?"

"You've never heard of elves until yesterday?" Legolas asked slowly, like he was talking to a child.

"NO!" I snapped, my breath starting to come in short gasps. I also realized that whatever was keeping my legs numb, was wearing off and they were beginning to ache, sending sharp pains up my spine.

"But—"

"Legolas Thranduillion, do not finish that sentence!" Queen Tarellethiel suddenly commanded.

The boy looked at her. "What, Nana? How can she not know about elves, she is one?"

My world suddenly froze. My head stopped spinning, but it stopped thinking rationally too. I stopped breathing all together, and my stomach dropped like a cold stone, along with my heart. I'd had panic attacks before, but when those words came out of his mouth, I didn't even know if I knew how to react.

What the hell did he mean I was one?!

I wasn't an elf…

Or was I?

NO! How in the hell could I be an elf?! I'm human! My mom's human! My brother's human!

I'm a human!

Right?

I was quite certain my brain had just skipped the fight or flight, anxiety response and went to freeze like a terrified animal in shock. I couldn't breathe, think, react. My eyes were open, but I wasn't seeing anything, everything was just white. I'm pretty sure even my bowel movements even stopped.

I'm an elf?

I didn't even know if I said it aloud or not. All I knew was if I didn't start breathing again, I'd die, except I wasn't sure if my brain cared or not. The abnormality overload, suddenly wasn't a semi, it was a mountain, and it hit me.

 **In one of my reviews, someone said Eponine sounded too Mary-Sue, I want more opinions. If she does, I'll definitely change her up, but I want to explain. Yes, Eponine is perfect. She's good at everything because...SHE'S GOT A PERFECT MEMORY! She can play piano and is super smart. She's really good at judging people and she's always right. But again, SHE'S GOT A PERFECT MEMORY! It said in the article that I read about Hyperthymesia that a lot of people can't stand those with the ability, because they're always right. That's how Eponine is.**

 **Anyway, moving on to the MMA, Mixed Martial Arts. It says that she liked the physical challenge, if you were perfect at everything, you'd get bored and it wouldn't matter. That's how she felt, so she expanded her horizons and found a challenge for herself.**

 **She also mentions the patterns. She likes patterns because patterns are predictable. MMA has patterns and so does the piano, but the piano isn't just for the patterns. She says it's soothing. I would also like to mention that wherever, whenever you go, you will find music. To Eponine, that is a way to always, no matter what, have a bit of normality.**

 **Now, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting. I'm not trying to. I just want everyone to understand. I'm glad the reviewer told me what they thought, I want all thoughts. If, after explaining, she still sounds Mary-Sue, let me know. I hope you like the chapter.**

 **-MaNY1001**


	5. Chapter 4 Questions and Answers

When I returned to the world again, however much later it was, I didn't even bother opening my eyes. I lay in a comfortable bed, with the pain of my injured legs pulsing through me, and just listened. I could hear, with odd clarity, night birds and insects chirping and crying their individual sounds. I could hear a soft breeze, and assumed the window was open, because I could feel it as well. I also picked up the sounds of whispers. I recognized the voices of Lord Elrond, Lady Celebrian, King Thranduil, and Queen Tarellethiel, but there were four other voices that I didn't recognize. They all spoke in whispers and in a language, I didn't understand.

I lay listening to their whispers for a long time. Resisting every urge to sigh, or move, or even twitch. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want them to swarm me and question me. I didn't want to think about what Legolas said, but the longer I laid there, no matter how still I was, the greater my need for the young elf grew. I don't know what he did or how he did it, I just know that he made me feel calm. And calm was what I needed right then…and some food, because I was starving.

"One does not normally hold one's breath, unless said someone is awake." An elderly man's voice suddenly said loudly, and in English. The whispering stopped and the swishing of clothes, indicated that the one that'd spoken was making his way to me. I let out the sigh I'd been holding for a very long time and finally opened my eyes.

An elderly man with a long white beard, long wavy gray hair, and a set of very impressive eyebrows sat on the bed beside me. There was a soft smile on his lips and a kind look in his stormy-gray eyes. He had many wrinkles, especially by his eyes, as if he'd spent his younger days causing mischief and laughing at its results. "And how are you this evening, my dark mystery?" His eyes twinkled with light, love, kindness, and a deal of mischief.

I smiled at him, unable to hold in a chuckle. His antics were a sweet attempt at making me feel comfortable. "I've been better and more knowledgeable."

He nodded. "Indeed, as have I. But here we are, both with questions and both in need of answers. Do you think it at all possible that we might help each other out?"

I stared at him for a while. I had no doubt that he wanted to know as much about me as he could, he seemed like the type that needed information to survive. If he was indeed someone like that, he'd have at least some of the answers I needed, in which case, we could help each other out. Except for one thing…what I needed at that moment wasn't answers. Granted, I did want them, but not just then. Just then I wanted food and comfort, the latter of which, I found came in the form of Legolas.

"I will answer questions, if you'll do me a favor first."

He nodded. "I will if I can, child."

I looked him square in the eye. "I need Legolas." I deliberately did not look to the king or queen. If my guess was right, and they were his parents, then they might not like my new dependence on him. Nor would they like him being woken at whatever time of night it was, especially if he'd gotten himself sick by helping me with his strange glow.

The elderly man raised an eyebrow at me. The wrinkles at the corners of his eyes drew together as he smiled. "You are right, Elrond. She has formed a dependence upon young Greenleaf."

"That is not a good thing!" King Thranduil snapped. "For either of them. Legolas extended himself too much! He needs to sleep, not extend himself more!"

I looked at the beautiful elven man and shrugged. "Fine. Don't get him, let him sleep." They all stared at me in shock, even three elves and the old man that I had yet to be introduced to. Lord Elrond looked wary, like he could read my mind and knew where I was going. "I will answer no questions. I will eat nothing. I will not heal. And I can promise at least one panic attack every hour."

With that and all my attitude, I turned my head away from the elderly stranger and the room full of supposed-fictional creatures and closed my eyes again. I had enough to think and worry about without arguing with the king. He…No, I am not going to think of it. I am going to sleep, because that seems to be the only way to not think about what in the hell was going on around me.

There was silence. Then the many in the room began to talk in the language they had before. My name as well as Legolas' was mentioned. I did not listen to the argument. I drowned out their words and focused on the sounds around me. The rustling of dresses and robes as they moved. The curtains moving softly in the breeze. The animals and insects outside. The faint sound of music that could be heard far in the distance, a flute. Then I picked up the soft sound of voices, six different people, undoubtedly elves. They were speaking English and seemed to be arguing as well.

Focusing more, I began to catch words.

"—beyond foolish." A female voice. It was a light alto and sounded more than a little scornful.

"Meril, Las knew what he was going." This time a male. Sounded young, younger than Legolas and the twins I met earlier, but not childish. He sounded like he was reaching the end of puberty and was nearing young adulthood. Meril was obviously the girl that'd been speaking before.

"Did he? Sounds to me like he was just following his foolish heart and the appeal of his eyes." Meril retorted, her scorn was now very obvious.

"I agree with Oron, Meril. You are being harsh and Las did know what he was doing." This was the voice of Lady Arwen, the beyond beautiful she-elf.

"Can you all stop speaking as if I were not here?" Legolas' voice asked.

"Yes, his body's here, but his head isn't." Joked the voice of one of Lord Elrond's twins. I had yet to hear them individually, so could not distinguish whose voice was whose.

"Oh, shut up, Ro!" The distinct sound of a pillow being thrown followed that along with laughter.

A hand on my shoulder made my focus suddenly zoom back to my room. I quickly scanned the ignored memories of what had happened, but all I found was elvish argument, at least I assumed elvish because I didn't understand the language and they were all elves…except the old man, of course.

I was about to open my eyes and look to who was touching me, when someone spoke. "Poor dear. She has lost much." The pity in Queen Tarellethiel's voice made me cringe internally.

"Do not give up hope just yet, Tare." Lord Elrond answered. "She is strong, you can see it in her eyes. She will pull through, yet."

"I have never heard of someone like her." The elderly man said. "To have the ability that she does."

"She told Legolas that it was both a blessing and a curse." King Thranduil stated, no emotion whatsoever in his voice.

The old man chuckled. "Most gifts are. They would not be worth themselves if they were not."

There was silence for a moment. Then Lord Elrond spoke again. "Now is not the time to speak on this. We will find out what we can in the morning. And, yes, Thranduil, Legolas will be there. He deserves answers as much as we do and she will be more willing if he is."

There was more silence. "I wish I could disagree, however, I must admit you are right. However much I dislike what he may have accidentally created, there is no denying there is something there."

"Come, my love." The queen said softly. "Come to bed with me. The day has made me weary and I would not go alone."

The door opened and the sound of five people leaving the room followed, along with various forms of 'good night'. I remained still and silent as the remaining three moved about the room. "What are her chances, El?" Lady Celebrian's soft voice suddenly asked. I felt the blankets being pulled back and someone begin removing my bandages.

"I do not know, my love. She is strong, much more than she knows. However…I fear the Valar's plan for her." I did my level best to resist the urge to hiss as the cold air suddenly made the sting in my legs more prominent.

"Speak your mind, Elrond." The elderly man said. "Speak not in riddles or vague fears."

"Oh, as if you are one to speak so, Mithrandir." Lord Elrond answered. "You are the most confusing and vague creature I have ever had the misfortune of trying to converse with."

The three chuckled. "There is no denying your love for riddles, Mithrandir." Lady Celebrian said sweetly.

"No, my dear, there isn't. However, that doesn't mean Elrond should keep his thoughts to himself."

A soft hand began to smear something on my stinging legs and this time I could not resist the hiss of pain and involuntary twitch as the stings grew. Lord Elrond's voice said something soothing in elvish. I relaxed as the pain numbed. My mind began to drift away from the conversation in that dark room. Before I heard the end, before I found out what Lord Elrond was saying, I lost myself to a dreamland I rarely saw.

 _I blinked at the light around me, surprised. Last, I remembered I was in that dark room in Lord Elrond's House, listening to the arguments of elves and their friends. The bright light faded and I found myself in a beautiful city. It was pure white and seemed to glow with the light of the sun. Elegant elves of all types were moving about the perfect city making little to no noise. Each looked happy and calm, at peace and in love. I watched in awe, vaguely aware of the soft music that filled the air._

 _I jumped when a hand was laid on my shoulder. I turned and found myself looking at a beautiful male elf, who looked so much like Thranduil I wouldn't be surprised if they were brothers. He wore a simple black tunic and leggings with boots to match. He smiled at me._

 _"Greetings, dear one." He said in a melodiously beautiful voice. "You have questions that can be answered. Come, I will take you." He offered his elbow and with a strange amount of calmness, I took it._

 _He led me through the city as easily as if he'd been the one that built it. "I am called Oropher, dearest."_

 _"Éponine."_

 _He chuckled. "Yes, I know."_

 _I couldn't help my blush as he looked at me. He was beautiful and elegant and perfect. He reminded me of Legolas and Thranduil, even with the little I know of them, except more. He seemed as though it was them that resembled him and he was better, greater, and all around more than they were._

 _We walked until we finally stopped at a beautiful walled off villa. The iron gates were beautifully made and ivy covered the beautiful stone walls. We stopped at the gates. Oropher said something in elegant elvish and the gates swung open. We walked into a beautiful garden. There was a beautiful but small lake. Willow trees sat along its banks, their silvery leaves sweeping the pure blue waters. There were pale and elegant flowers adorning the soft sweet-smelling grass. Birdsong filled the air, accompanying the soft music well._

 _Oropher led me deeper into the garden, around the small lake to a very old weeping willow tree. A beautiful lady with silvery hair and wearing a silvery-gray dress sat at the base of the willow. She sat, gazing over the soft water._

 _"My Lady Estë." Oropher bowed._

 _"Go and fetch my sister, Kingling." Came the gentlest reply of the sweetest soprano I'd ever heard._

 _"Of course, my lady." He bowed again and left._

 _I was left standing alone with the beautiful woman. "Come and sit, child. My sisters shall be here soon."_

 _I stepped forward hesitantly and sat beside the lake. We sat in silence and despite all the strangeness around me, I felt peaceful and calm. I was content to sit at that lake for eternity. It was not so, for after a time, minutes or hours I could not tell, I heard the arrival of three others._

 _I turned and two more beautiful women stepped forward. One was dressed in a beautiful dark, silken gown. She had white hair and was pale as alabaster. Over her gown, she wore a gray cloak. The hood was pulled over her head, but I could see the glint of a tear in her eye._

 _"I am called Nienna, dear one. Welcome, my sisters and I have much to speak with you on."_

 _I smiled and nodded to her. The other stepped forward with a smile. She had bright golden hair and a rich velvet, wine-colored dress. Compared to the others, she looked like a sun in the night sky. "I am Vairë." Her voice was stern and all-knowing. "My sister speaks true, there is much to be said."_

 _She turned to Oropher. "Go, Kingling. Your wife awaits you at home. We will call when she is ready to return."_

 _Oropher bowed to them each in return. Then cast a smile my direction. "Be strong and have faith, dear one. You have much to live and fight for, do not give up until you are certain you can die with your actions." Then he winked. "And let me know how it goes with that beautiful lad you've met."_

 _He departed leaving me totally confused. Vairë chuckled. "Pay our dear Kingling no mind. He means well, but nothing will make sense just yet."_

 _Nienna and Vairë sat down beside us. "Speak, dear one." Nienna said softly. "You have questions and we have answers."_

 _I looked between the three of them. "Legolas, Lord Elrond, King Thranduil—" I paused. "They're elves." It wasn't a question but Vairë nodded. I started to speak again, but stopped, then started again. "I don't even know what to ask. I'm so confused. I have no idea what's going on…at all!"_

 _Vairë exchanged looks with the other two. "Perhaps we should explain everything, then." I nodded. Vairë took a deep breath and shifted so she was comfortable. "Well, you, dear, live on a planet called Earth. The humans on Earth believe they are the only inhabitable planet in their universe full of planets." I nodded again. "Well, they are wrong." I nodded for a third time, this was obviously true._

 _"The universe is full of planets with all forms of life. Great Beings make and keep an eye on these planets. Some of us have more than one planet that we watch and aid." She smiled at me. "We, the Valar, watch over Earth and Arda, among others. Sometimes, there are great people and creatures that are born on one planet, that will do a different well. When this happens, if we all agree, we will move that creation to the place that it is needed. It is easiest to place a death scene around the creation we are moving for the good of those around and gift them with a new body to enable them to grow in a different or better way than they were before."_

 _I nodded slowly, digesting this. "So, I was born on Earth, but I would do a different planet some good?"_

 _Estë looked at me with a soft laugh. "Oh, dearest. You won't just do Arda some good, you will do it an infinity of good. You will grow and become greater on Arda, and you will help more than your fair share of people, important people."_

 _I looked at Vairë. She nodded. "Yes, dear one. You are destined for Arda. Your time there will not be short, nor will it be easy, but it will be greater and stronger for you."_

 _"But Jullian? And my mom?"_

 _The three exchanged sad looks, this time Nienna answered. "Dear one," she said softly, "You have indeed died. Your death will cause both pain, but they will move on. Your mother will return to France and your brother will travel the world as he has always wanted. They will morn you, but move on with their lives as well."_

 _I couldn't help the pang of hurt that stole into my heart. I felt expendable, like I was only ever in the way. "There's no going back." I said softly and got nods. "What am I supposed to do on Arda?"_

 _The three exchanged looks again. "It will not be easy, you will change, in a way that you did not know was possible. It will frighten you and make you feel weaker, but you will grow for it—" Vairë stopped and smiled. "You will feel weaker, but be stronger. You will awake in this new world and thrive as only you can. Live, love, and learn, dear one. All that needs to happen will and has already begun."_

 _I looked down and noticed my legs. Lifting the hem of my dress, I noticed they were perfectly smooth, but felt strange. "Wha—"_

 _"Your legs will heal," Nienna cut in, "but they will never be the same. You must learn to make your way without the ability to fight."_

 _I looked at her. My eyes began to burn. I felt as if someone had dug my heart out with a dull spoon and left it in my throat, restricting my breathing ability. "But—"_

 _Vairë leveled me with a stern stare. "Do not scorn the gifts you have been given. Your legs haven't the strength to carry a fighter. You have other beautiful talents to use to your advantage."_

 _I nodded weakly. "Of course," I answered softly, "I am sorry."_

 _Estë smiled at me. "Do well in the new life we have granted and we will believe such words."_

 _Then the three stood and I automatically followed. First, Nienna stepped forward. "As we have said, dear one, you shall do well, however, your live will not be without pain or struggle. If ever you need guidance or help, call upon me. I shall always be of service to you. Go, live well. Always look to the light and never turn away from a reason to smile. Find your reason to fight the evils of the world and you shall be forever stronger for it." She kissed my forehead gently. "Grief is a part of life, but never bear it alone. And never forget, courage is found in the most unlikely of places." She clasped a simple silver-white chain around my neck. "Wear this and you wear the protection of the Valier. Be strong and be blessed. Farewell, bainpen-nin, we look to your coming at the Gray Port." She turned and left the garden. With her words, I felt as if the world had been lifted off my shoulders._

 _Next, Vairë stepped forward. "You are an elf now, dear one. Your memory will forever be strong and impeccable, but your need for order will fade, just give it time." She took my face in her hands and gazed at me with the love of a king mother, reminding me vaguely of Queen Tarellethiel. "If you find yourself in death, yet you feel your task is unfinished, I grant you the ability to return to Arda from my husband's halls, but I give you this ability to use once, and no more. Everyone has their time, even you. Go and do well in this world and I look forward to seeing you again." She kissed my forehead gently, then placed a small round pendant, a woven web of pure moonlight, at the end of Nienna's chain. "May the blessing of the Valar go with you, bainpen-nin." She too left the garden, leaving me warm and calm. This was a lot, but I felt very loved, simply by looking in her eyes,_

 _Lastly, Estë took my hands. She guided me to the lake. She pointed to the clear blue water and a vision appeared. It was of me, laying in the bed in the House of Lord Elrond. Legolas stood beside it with five others and Lord Elrond. They seemed to be talking. I took the time to study myself, completely surprised at my new look. I still had my dark hair, as long or longer than it had ever been, but now instead of being just dark brown, it was an ebony raven. It lay around my head like an inky halo of ebony waves. My eyes were as big as they ever were, with long dark eyelashes. My skin was still olive, but my face was free of any blemishes or acne. I looked taller, but not by much and I looked all legs. My body shape was as thin and unfeminine as it had always been if not more so, because I was injured._

 _"My husband is the Master of Dreams, Visions and Desires and I, the Lady of Healing. There is much you can gain and will need from both of us." She turned to me. "You will find great trial in the new weakness of your legs and the fading of your orderliness. I will listen to any prayer you send to me. My husband will be open to send you any help that you need, should you ask, as well. My sisters have spoken all that need be said. You can always grow and always will." She clipped a length of silver-white chain on Vairë's woven pendant. At the end hung a pale crystal that glowed with the soft blue-ish light of the moon. "Never underestimate the strength and healing of tears, especially ones shed for the pure and everlasting love of another. Bless you, bainpen-nin, we watch and wait for your return." She kissed my head as the others had and with a smile left me in the garden on my own._

 _The sun began to set, but I felt so peaceful, I stood where I'd been left with nothing on my mind. I only pulled away, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Come, dear one. Now is not your time to be lost in the peace and light of Valinor." I turned and caught Oropher's smile. "Your time will come, just as all the rest, but not yet."_

 _He took my hand and wrapped it around his elbow. He led me out of the garden and into the city. Not the pure whiteness of it was pale and cast a blue-ish glow about everything. There was laughter and bright music playing. I could hear singing and the tapping of dancing feet, but Oropher took me nowhere near the source of the noise._

 _"If we were to stop and observe the play of a carefree elf, we would never return you to your place." He led me away to a simple but elegant mansion. "Here, I live with my wife, awaiting the return of my son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. You will rest here for tonight and tomorrow, find yourself returned to your new home."_

 _He led me inside and we were greeted by a beautiful she-elf with beautiful silvery-white hair and emerald green eyes. "My wife, Nanethiel."_

 _"A pleasure to meet you, dear one. Welcome to our home." She smiled warmly and the ever-present calm seemed to grow with the warmth of her smile. She took my hand and led me to a simple room that was pure and white. "I would offer food, but the deliciousness of it would keep you here. Now, sleep, young one, and I hope to see you on these shores again, at a later time."_

 _I smiled and thanked her. And without a thought from my always busy and nervous mind, I sank down on the soft white bed and fell into sleep without a problem. My dreams were of love, kindness, and joy and I made a mental note to myself to thank Estë's husband when I was more awake._

 **I wanted to thank everybody for their reviews. I'm sorry if I went off a bit hard about the Mary-sue thing. All your reviews helped and I'm trying to keep her from being a Mary-sue. I hope you see how I'm preventing this in this chapter. I hope you'll also see when it sounds a bit in her favor, being as she's the main-character of a romantic-adventure and it's from her point of view. I've also been thinking, when it gets further in, I might do some lemons. I'd like to know opinions on that.**

 **I know I'm asking a lot, but I'm wondering: should I change the time-frame as well? I feel like the story's too close to the Lord of the Rings.**

 **Again, thank you all for you're support, and I hope that you like what I'm doing.**

 **-MaNY1001**


	6. Chapter 5 A Reason To Live

"Éponine?" Legolas' voice broke into my dreams. "It is late, you need to wake. You've slept too long." I shook my head confused. My mind was foggy and I couldn't grasp any immediate memories. I took a deep breath and pushed toward his voice. It was hard. My legs stung with pain, my back ached, my head pounded, and sleep continued to call me.

"Please, Éponine. If you sleep any longer, you will cease to be with us."

I continued to push. Other sounds began to reach my ears. Lord Elrond's voice giving orders. King Thranduil arguing with Queen Tarellethiel. Birds…singing, with music blowing in on the wind, a flute…like the night before…

Except, in that moment, I began to wonder…

Was it the night before? I felt as if I'd been sleeping for an infinity of time. My legs stung and hurt, but nowhere near as bad as they had. Then my thoughts turned to my last memories. The three Valier.

I felt my mind wake up and I began to register everything going on around me with every sense, except my eyes. But I just laid there…

I needed to take it in. They were kind. They were understanding.

But it hurt. It hurt so much I couldn't think past the pain that began to swell in my heart. I never used it. I pushed it away and ignored the strange looks and mean comments. But now…

My heart began to hurt with a pain that I never knew could exist. It burned like the hottest fire in a forge. Then it turned and became the metal used in a forge. I was white hot. Flexible. I felt the hammer fall. Shaping me. Changing me. Pounding. Pounding in the change that I couldn't control. That I couldn't stop, or change, or adapt to. It all just happened. So fast. So painful. So easily.

I let out a shudder breath as I tried to function, breath around the burning pain in my throat. As I tried to remember what I was living for. It all hurt. Nothing made sense. I wanted to give up right there.

Why?

How?

Why did it have to happen?

How could they move on so quickly?

Didn't they care?

Didn't they love me?

I was a burden.

I was the problem.

I was gone now, out of their hair and in someone else's.

The burning pain grew. My tears streamed down my cheeks. My legs, back, head, nothing compared to the burning pain of abandonment in my chest.

I wanted to scream and cry and rage, but I couldn't. I understood. I held them back. I kept them in a place they didn't want to be.

My eyes fluttered opened, but the world around me was blurry. The tears streamed thickly and I could make out the outline of a person. Blonde hair and green clothes, a soft glow accompanied them.

"Éponine," a soft voice called. My pain made it feel as if from a distance. I wanted to answer the voice, but I couldn't.

My throat hurt. My voice was broken. My breath caught. And my heart burned.

Why?

Why?

Why?

It hurt so!

"Éponine?" the voice called again. "Please? Do not give in. It is not as bad as it seems. There is reason, yet, to live. Do not fade, Éponine. Please, do not fade."

I heard his voice. I could hear the pleading need as he called to me. I could feel his care and love. I stared at the shape.

I focused.

I pushed away the pain.

I smothered the fire.

I forced the emotions to go down. To be hidden away. To be forgotten and ignored.

"Legolas." My voice was rough. Raw with emotion and painful in my restricted throat.

His face came into focus and a beautiful smile graced his lips. "Éponine, stay. There is yet, much to live for."

"Legolas." I repeated, softly. Everything about me ached, but all I could do was look at him. He was a reason to live. He, just him, was the most obvious reason. He was kind and beautiful and…

And he cared.

He showed that he cared.

"Yes. I am Legolas, Éponine. Now please! Please, remember yourself!"

My arm felt heavy, but I fought and lifted it. I touched the soft skin of his face. His hand came up and warmly cupped my hand against his cheek. "There is much to live for." He repeated, softly.

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly, realizing the entire room was silent. I dropped my hand and looked around. I blinked my eyes trying to clear them. Lord Elrond stepped up to the left side of the bed, opposite Legolas.

"Welcome back, bainpen-nin. We nearly lost you." His words were soft and gentle.

I nodded. "I know." I answered back, quietly. "I feel heavy, as if I slept too long, but I still crave sleep." I studied him. His soft sterling eyes. His elegant chocolate hair. His beautiful robes. "How long?"

He smiled sadly. "Nearly a week." He answered just as softly.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, but Legolas didn't quite like that. "Éponine! Please, don't sleep again!"

I opened my eyes again and smiled at him. "It's okay, Legolas. I'm awake. I just have a lot to think about."

"Yes," snapped the voice of King Thranduil, as he came to stand behind Legolas. "Like how you managed that." He pointed to my neck. I looked down and caught the faint glint of light from under the sheets.

I took a deep breath. "Last ni…last time we spoke, Mithrandir wanted answers…" I paused, "well, I have them, but I'm not going to answer anything laying down so I can only see three people."

Legolas and Lord Elrond shared a smile as both stood. Lord Elrond lifted me to sit up, while Legolas positioned my pillows to hold me comfortably. Aside from Lord Elrond, Legolas, King Thranduil, and Queen Tarellethiel, Mithrandir, a golden-haired male elf, Lady Celebrian, and both twins were in the room.

I looked the golden-haired elf right in the eye and he flashed me a mischievous smile, his arms folded across his chest. "Glorfindel, my lady." He said sweeping out one arm and dramatically bowing. "At your service, Valariel." Almost everyone cast him a questioning glance as he returned to his earlier position. He gave no answer, merely flashing me another glowingly drop-dead smile.

I hid a smile and turned to Mithrandir. "I will answer any of your questions now, but you might want to bring everyone in, that you want to know, because I'm only saying it once, and it'll save a lot of trouble later."

Mithrandir chuckled merrily. "Elladan, Elrohir, go and fetch the others."

The two exchanged looks. "Um, Mithrandir, would you specify, who the 'others' are?" Elladan asked sarcastically.

Mithrandir threw them a withered look. "Erestor, Galion, Nimoron, Caranloth, and Arwen." He listed them fast and irritated, the twins shared a look before bowing in unison.

"We shall see it done." They said and exited the room.

I didn't hide my smile this time. "Are they always like that?" I asked.

Lady Celebrian smiled. "Yes, or worse, but you will find good and kind hearts beneath those cocky and mischievous smiles."

Lord Elrond smiled as well, before turning to me. "You need to eat."

I nodded. "Yeah, 'cause I'm starving."

The room chuckled, but my attention drew to Legolas as his hand suddenly wrapped around mine. I turned to him and he smiled softly, studying my face. I felt a heat of butterflies' flash through my stomach before squeezing his hand softly. His smile broadened and he squeezed back.

I pointedly ignored the glare King Thranduil was sending me from behind him.

I studied the many in the room as I ate slowly. I already knew Legolas (obviously), Lord Elrond, Lady Celebrian, Lady Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, King Thranduil, Queen Tarellethiel, Mithrandir, and now Glorfindel.

Princess Caranloth was a beautiful female elf with the same platinum hair and icy eyes as King Thranduil and Legolas. She was tall and shapely and walked with grace and elegance. She held no qualms about making her disapproval of me known with her glare.

Her brother, Prince Nimoron looked more like the queen. He was tall and a bit gangly. His hair was long but waved a bit and was more of a silvery-blonde. His eyes were gray like his mothe'rs and he looked as if he preferred books to weapons. He wore an expression of withheld judgement, as if he would wait to hear what I had to say before forming any opinion.

Lord Erestor was dark haired and green-eyed. He looked rather scholarly as well and his OCD made me feel a lot better about mine. He was Lord Elrond's closest adviser beside Lord Glorfindel. He held a rather indifferent sort of expression, but he still held a whispered conversation with Lord Glorfindel in elvish.

And Galion, was King Thranduil's butler, best friend, and unofficial chief adviser. He had golden-red hair with green eyes a lot like Erestor's. Despite being a butler, he had a big muscular body and looked like he knew his way around a battlefield. I couldn't tell anything about his opinion, any more than I could Lord Erestor.

"Éponine?" Legolas' voice drew me out of my thoughts. I looked to him with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He chuckled. "Go ahead, we're all listening."

I looked back at everyone. Lord Elrond occupied a chair beside the bed on my left. Galion took a position beside the door. Lord Erestor and Lord Glorfindel leaned against a medicine cabinet, shoulder-to-shoulder with their arms crossed across their chests. Lady Celebrian, Lady Arwen, and Princess Caranloth sat at a small round table. The twins stood behind Lady Arwen leaning against the wall, identical expressions, and positions. Prince Nimoron sat at the large window seat, and King Thranduil sat beside him with Queen Tarellethiel in his lap. Legolas sat in a chair on my right with Mithrandir behind him.

"Did you tell them about what I told you," I asked Lord Elrond, "about my ability?" He nodded. I took a deep breath. Where on Earth was I supposed to start?

"That is the biggest load of Orc shit I've ever heard!" Princess Caranloth burst when I finally finished my dream. Legolas' eyes darkened, but the princess continued. "You could be making all of this up! We have enough problems without some strange elleth feeling special and thinking she needs attention for it."

Legolas opened his mouth to defend me, but I stayed it with a glare, then leveled said facial expression at the princess. "Listen, I don't give a flying rat's ass about what you do or do not believe. I don't want attention, because that only ever results in trouble. And honestly, I wouldn't mind at all if it was all a bunch of bull. Then you could stick me in a psych ward and forget about me. I could forget about myself, wallowing in self-pity and a long-lost life, but it's not. I'm supposed to help you and through all of you, this world. I don't know why, but it doesn't matter because I don't have a choice."

The entire room was silent. I could hear crickets chirping outside and the irony of it almost made me giggle. Finally, Lord Glorfindel stood up straight.

"There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, of Lady Valariel's words. She is blessed by The Sisters and was sent to us. 'One should never look a gift horse in the mouth.'" He quoted.

The others exchanged looks, but Mithrandir caught my eye and winked. I couldn't help my smile at the kindly twinkle in his old but mischievous eyes. My vision focus closer and I also caught Legolas' stare. I tilted my head to the side and threw him his own smile.

My attention an eyes turned when the sweet sound of a flute swept ok through the window on a soft summer breeze. It was very similar to one of the lullabies Julien used to sing to me when I was little. Legolas turned to look at the window, then he too seemed to catch the sound.

The music was sweet and beautiful, high as most flute music was, but it was also simple and gentle as lullabies were. Mixed with the rustling of trees, singing birds, and the chirping insects, the song sounded so natural and perfect. Moving and emotional in the way an old happy memory was, when it was followed by many more memories of pain and sadness.

Almost instinctively, I began singing the words that I knew.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word;

Julien's going to show you a hummingbird.

If that hummingbird should fly,

Julien's going to show you the evening sky.

When the nighttime shadows fall,

Julien's going to hear the crickets call.

While their song drifts from afar,

Julien's going to search for a shooting star.

When that star had dropped from view,

Julien's going to read a book with you.

When that story had been read,

Julien's going to bring your warm bedspread.

If that quilt begins to wear,

Julien's going to find your teddy bear.

When that teddy bear won't hug,

Julien's going to catch you a lightening bug.

If that lightening bug won't glow,

Julien's going to play on her old banjo.

If that banjos out of tune,

Julien's going to show you the harvest moon.

As that moon drifts through the sky,

Julien's going to sing you a lullaby.

I stared into the pale ice of Legolas' eyes. They were big and old, full of pain, but I could also see hope. They were the doorway to his soul and with the strangest butterfly feeling I could see me in them. The new me, the elf me that was 'gifted' and destined to help this world.

I didn't realize the room had gone completely silent until I'd finished the words. "That was beautiful, Èponine." Queen Tarellethiel said softly.

I pulled my eyes from Legolas to look at her. Her eyes seemed guarded. She was judging me and I was ninety-nine percent sure it was because of the strange exchange I was having with Legolas.

"Thank you, your majesty." I answered. "My elder brother used to sing it to me."

She nodded. "And tell me, Èponine, according to what you told Elrond, you have a prefect memory..." I nodded. She was getting somewhere, and taking her sweet time about it. "And because of that, you require everything to be the exact same, or as close as possible?" I nodded again pushing down my growing irritation, could she just get to the point!

"What I want to know, Child, is, how have you not reacted to the absence of your brother and the possibility that you may never see him again?"

I stared at her for enough time to make it strange, but my mind was turmoil and my heart worse. I had reacted. I'd nearly given up. I'd cried and I still felt like my heart was being staked, except now it felt like the queen had pulled out the stake only to shove it back in, really hard.

"There is no 'may' about it. The Valier were clear on me never going back." My voice was soft and felt far away. My head hurt. My legs hurt. I wanted to lay down and sleep. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stop the questions. I wanted to stopping thinking about it. I wanted to forget everything and start over. And most of all, I really just wanted to get rid of the pain in my chest, it made it so difficult to breath, swallow, even think.

"Èponine?" Legolas' voice found my ears, far off and distorted. "Èponine?"

I looked over at him, but my vision began to swim. Tears slipped out, down my cheeks. Without realizing I was saying it aloud, I whispered, "Take it from me. It hurts so much."

My throat constricted as a a sob broke forth. I tried to swallow, but it stuck and my chest burned as my lungs rejected air.

My vision darkened, but I felt warm, muscled arms wrap around me shoulders, pulling me toward a warm body. The sweet sound of singing echoed through the chaos and I slipped back into sleep listening to the words of an old childhood lullaby.

AN: First, I am soooooooo! sorry for not updating! I'm so glad for all the reviews and the support. Second, I know it seems like she passes out a lot, but that'll stop when she heals and gets a better grip on herself. I repeated myself a little in this chapter, but that's because that's what we all do when we don't understand or we're hurt and crying. We repeat and cry more than once...well girls do anyway. R&R,F&F


	7. Chapter 6 The Beginning of Another Life

**A/N: Lont time, no update...LOOOOOOONG TIME! I'm SUPER, SUPER sorry. I hope the Explaination didn't confuse anybody too much. I'll explain more as I go along. Anyway, I know it's short, but it's a chapter, so here.**

"It has been nearly two weeks," Lord Elrond said softly, "you are healing amazingly and soon will not need any assistance. And though you will never be able to fight physically again, you are far from useless."

We were in his office. He sat behind his large, elegant mahogany desk and I was across from him. The room was large and spacious with bookshelves lining all the walls, leaving room for two windows, with window seats and the door, which lead into his study. His study was very similar in the respect that it too was covered in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, but it had couches and arm chairs, meant for relaxing in.

"I have an offer, for you." I cocked my head to the side and regarded him curiously. An offer? It was constantly baffling and amazing that, though I could acutely guess the reactions the elves often gave to certain situations, they were constantly surprising me with their decision-making abilities and the heart they put into everything. "When you feel ready, I would like you to come to the Healing Halls and learn under me."

My mouth dropped. "What?! You want to teach me how to be a healer?"

He nodded. "Your necklace will be useful and your amazing memory would be a great help. I get the feeling, though you have a very strict schedule, you do not like to be idle. This would give you something to work for and fill your day. I also believe you have a kind heart, which is very important for being a healer."

I looked down at my hands, resting on the top of the walking stick Lord Elrond had gifted to me, when I first started walking again. It was dark cherry wood with beautiful vines carved on it and painted black. The bottom and top were capped with smooth silver, save the round top had an elegant raised impression of a rearing stallion on it.

"I—um," I looked back up at him as he regarded me curiously. "I'm honored." I answered. "You're right, I hate not having something to do. I'll be very glad to have some way to earn back all that you've given me."

His eyebrows drew down into a V and his silver eyes darkened. "I will not have you think like that." He said sternly. "All that I or my family have given to you so far are given freely with no desire of payment. We are more than happy to help you and are very happy to see you mending so well." He stood and came around the desk to kneel in front of me. His eyes softened and the kindness I saw in them make my heart warm. He took my hands, engulfing them in his large calloused ones. "I may not be able to speak for my family on this, but I say, I have grown rather fond of you. You are different and refreshing. You are kind, but lost."

He reached up and brushed a wayward strand of hair out of my eyes. "There is something more I would like to ask you." He said carefully. I nodded. He looked down at my hands, rubbing circles over the backs, with his thumbs, something I found very soothing. "If you would, I would—" he paused and looked back up at my face. "How would you like to become part of my family?"

I gasped and on instinct jerked my hands away from his, clapping them over my mouth. Tears prickled in my eyes, blurring my vision, as I stared at the beautiful elf kneeling before me. A thousand thoughts and images ran through my head in that moment, but the most prominent one was the image of a bright, kind smile, accompanied by sterling eyes full of soft joy and love.

Before I over thought the rationality of it, I leapt forward and tackled him in a bone crushing hug. He gasped and lost his balance, falling backward. He let out a light chuckle, that vibrated through his chest, against my ear, and accepted my hug. "May I take that as a yes?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded into his chest as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. He smelt of old books, ink, and honey, which I found interesting.

I wouldn't have minded staying there, wrapped in his arms, both of us sitting on the ground, listening to the sound of his heart, but the office door opened. "Oh Valar! Elrond, is she alright?!" Lady Celebrian's voice sounded rather panicked.

Lord Elrond chuckled again, the sound resonated beneath me and his heart rate quickened ever so slightly. "She is fine, Meleth. She has accepted." I nodded without speaking and tightened my hug. Lord Elrond's arms tightened in return and Lady Celebrian knelt beside us on the floor, running her hand over my hair gently.

"I am glad." She said softly. "Arwen and I have been outnumbered for far too long."

I pulled out of Lord Elrond's arms and turned to her. Her deep blue eyes were bright as she smiled at me. She opened her arms and I returned the smile before falling into her arms. "Thank you, so much!" I exclaimed. "Julien and Mom loved me and I'll miss them, but I'll never see them again and they are the only family I had."

"Were," Lady Celebrian corrected. "You're ours now." She pulled back and held my shoulders at arm's length. She beamed at me, her face showing every ounce of joy that I felt. "There's no escaping us now."

I laughed. "That's okay." Drawing me close, she rested her forehead on mine. My heart soured and even as I watched, a soft glow appeared around her, bathing her in pure light. She already looked like an angel, but now she looked like the sun itself. The light reached out and touched my heart, wrapping me warmly, much as Legolas had, when I first woke.

"Yes, it is." She said softly. "I love you, my daughter."

I pulled forward and wrapped my arms around her neck, letting her mane of platinum blonde hair fall over me. She smelt of wildflowers and rosemary. "I love you, too." I answered. I pulled back and looked at Lord Elrond. "I love you both. I can't believe you'd let me join your family without a thought! I'll never be able to thank you enough!"

The tears from before returned and I couldn't help sobbing as Lord Elrond took my hands again. "You never need thank us more than to love us as we have come to love you. Welcome to the family, Éponine Peredhil." I burst out laughing, absolutely loving the sound of that. I learned a few days ago that that meant half-elven. I may be full elven now, but I think it applied nicely due to my original heritage.

He helped me to my feet and Lady Celebrian handed me my walking stick. "Come, let us seek out your new family and give them the news.

 **~X~X~X~X~**

We found Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen with the royal family of Mirkwood or the Woodland Realm, the kingdom King Thranduil and Queen Tarellethiel ruled. They were in the main gardens on the west side of the Homely House, the name that was given to the main building. The whole city and the valley we were in was called Imlardis in elven, Rivendell in what the others called the Common Tongue, which was virtually an accented form of English.

"Don't let him get it!" Princess Caranloth shouted as she struggled against Legolas' grip. They seemed to be playing some form of Monkey-in-the-Middle, except with teams.

Arwen, who was on Princess Caranloth's team, leapt away from Elladan and threw a dark red book to Prince Nimoron, just as her brother caught her around the middle, causing her to shriek and burst out laughing. "Go, Oron!" Prince Nimoron caught the book expertly and leaping into a tree, disappeared.

"What?!" Elrohir cried. "That's not fair! You know we don't stand a chance against you _tree elves_ in the trees!"

Princess Caranloth burst out laughing as she prevented her elder brother from following her younger. "Oh, poor little Princes can't keep up in the trees!" She taunted. "What shall we do for you?!"

I let out a soft chuckle as Prince Nimoron dropped quietly to the ground behind where his parents sat on the grass watching. With amazing slight-of-hand, he switched the red book out with a dark green one set beside Queen Tarellethiel's hand. Hearing my laugh, he looked up and placed a finger to his lips, his eyes dancing with laughter as he disappeared back up the nearest tree.

Queen Tarellethiel and King Thranduil glanced over, then exchanged amused looks, when Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian helped me sit, then made themselves comfortable on either side. "Good afternoon, Elrond," the King stated, raising one dark eyebrow at him.

Lord Elrond inclined his head to the couple, resisting a smile as he winked at me, but gave his friend no explanation. Lady Celebrian chuckled. "Oh, stop being dramatic, you two," She chastised. "Éponine has agreed to be adopted into our family."

Both King Thranduil's eyebrows rose at this, though he didn't look surprised, and Queen Tarellethiel beamed. "Congratulations!" She exclaimed reaching across Lady Celebrian to squeeze my hand. "I can safely say you have made these two very happy. They've been brooding over asking you since you told us of The Sisters."

Heat flooded into my cheeks, but I couldn't help my smile. "I'm glad," I answered softly, "I don't know what I would do without their constant help."

Lord Elrond kissed the side of my head and Arwen suddenly gasped. We all turned as she bound up to us. "She said yes?!" She exclaimed, the excitement in her eyes made her positively glow. "Holy Valar!" She dropped to her knees and pulled me into a tight hug, letting out an excited squeak right in my acute elven ear. "Welcome to the family, Sister! I am so happy you agreed!"

I smiled at her as she pulled away, to let her—our twin brothers near me. They beamed at me, nearly identical images of pure happiness. "Welcome to the family, little lost thing." Though I am averse to most touching, I was expecting and didn't mind the double hug, they then laid upon me.

"Thank you," I whispered, "I am so happy and thankful to have a family again."

They pulled away and over the top of their heads, I caught Legolas' eyes. He smiled kindly and winked, mouthing 'well done'. I chuckled softly, but my attention turned as Arwen inserted herself between her— _our_ father and me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"When you're all healed and after you get used to the turmoil of learning and working in the Healing Wings, I want us to spend a few hours each day together, that we might get to know each other better. I'd like to make up for lost time."

I smiled and nodded. "I think I could handle that, though I'm not quite sure how well you would."

The whole group laughed, for the most part. "Congratulations, Lady Éponine," Prince Nimoron said smoothly, coming to stand beside Legolas and Princess Caranloth. She nodded her agreement, though her face said she wasn't sure if she approved.

I didn't care though, if I was to be totally honest. I'd fallen in love with the Peredhil family, and now I got the chance to be part of it, I wouldn't turn that down for all the gold in the world.


	8. Chapter 7 A Father in Dreams

"—It's better to use fresh leaves, in any healing, no matter what, if possible, use fresh herbs. Dried herbs work just fine, but for reasons we cannot comprehend, patients react better to fresh. Now, to brew the tea, crush the leaves and leave them in the bottom of the cup—"

I watched and learned as Lord Elrond explained what he was doing. I'd been learning with him in the Healing Halls for all of a day and I was already ready to take on anything. I mean, in all honesty, I wasn't ready to take on anything serious, but I felt so happy and light with my new life, I was ready to change the world.

"Éponine, are you listening?"

I smiled at him. "Of course. You said not to let the water get too hot, and don't take the herbal leaves or the tea won't be as strong."

He sighed with a smile, setting down what he had in order to pull me into his arms. "Of course." He agreed, kissing my temple. "You remember, even if you weren't paying attention. Why don't we call it a day?"

I shrugged. "I am at your command."

He chuckled, then in a change of subject, asked, "Have you seen Legolas today?" He said it in a very nonchalant way, but I could tell he had an ulterior motive. The entire royal family of the Woodland Realm, save Queen Tarellethiel, seemed to have some vendetta against me, prince Nimoron was polite, but even he seemed to hold something against me, and I knew it had something to do with Legolas and why he cared so much about me.

"No, I've been with you. Why?" I watched him carefully as he shrugged.

"No reason." I reached down, to take his hand, stopping my walking, which forced him to stop as well, if he wanted to keep my hand in his. He turned to look at me, his eyes guarded, but also kind. "What is it, bainpen-nin?"

"I want to ask you the same thing," I answered. "Every time I ask about what happened, the day I first woke up, Legolas says it's nothing, but I know something important happened, because everyone else gets defensive."

Lord Elrond sighed, giving me a look of pity, which made me boil inside, but I ignored it, as he answered. "You are right, it is important, to us, but if Legolas does not want to make a big deal of it, that is his decision."

I nodded, keeping my face impassive, but deep inside, I was far from satisfied. Legolas wasn't the only one involved! Whatever had happened, it involved me, as well as Legolas. He may not want it to be a big deal, but I, at least, wanted to know _what_ happened. It irritated me to no end and I planned on getting answers.

As we entered the dining room, for dinner, an idea sparked. The Woodland elves sat in their designated places, conversing and laughing with the Imlardis elves. I planned on getting answers…and all I had to do was find the right elf to con it out of.

"Good evening, Nîn."

I smiled sweetly at Legolas, taking the chair, he offered to his left. "Hey. What's for dinner?"

He shrugged, then burst out laughing. "You're going to ask me that every day, aren't you?"

I shrugged smiling smugly. "It's your own fault for falling for it."

Dinner came, and as always, I had a salad, dressed as it always was, with the same things as always. Always being the two weeks, I'd been here. As we ate, I studied my prey, feeling amazingly smug inside.

Queen Tarellethiel was out of the question. She was impassive and unopinionated. She wouldn't speak to me on what I wished to know, and would only tell me to ask Legolas. She'd give me soft looks and sweet smiles, but under all that, I know she wasn't whole enough to bully into telling me. It would be too mean, and I wasn't fond of the thought of King Thranduil finding out, if I did try and bully her.

Prince Nimoron was virtually the same. He didn't care one way or the other, with me anyway. I've caught him giving Legolas disapproving looks, multiple times, not because he disapproved of me but because he disapproved of how Legolas was handling all this.

Princess Caranloth might work, if I played her right. She was disapproving, smug, and angry. She believed it was my fault. However, she does not believe me, nor does she believe my dream. She will get angry at me, questioning me, telling me I should take responsibility of what I'd done. If I claimed ignorance, she may very well get too insulted to answer.

Legolas, of course, wasn't an option. Arwen was as passive as or more than Queen Tarellethiel. Lady Celebrian, the same. The twins are to loyal to Legolas, leaving me with one option. I made my decision, and put the plan together. Dinner ended, and my plan sprung into action, my decision, words, and actions already playing out in my mind.

Queen Tarellethiel rose, claiming weariness, and King Thranduil followed. Lady Celebrian went to the library, Lord Elrond following. Arwen and the twins invited Legolas and his siblings to the garden. I declined the offer, much to Legolas' consternation and the room emptied.

As soon as everyone was gone, I headed for the family wing. I heard the soft murmuring of talking coming from the room the King and Queen shared. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. The voices stilled, and the King answered.

"Enter." I opened the door and stepped in. King Thranduil's abnormally soft features instantly darkened to the normal cold he reserved for me. "What do you want, girl?" he asked coldly.

Queen Tarellethiel sighed, swatting her husband lightly, from where she sat on his lap, beside the fire. "Be kind, Thranduil. What do you need, Dear?"

I stepped further into the room and shut the door behind me. They exchanged looks and King Thranduil's look darkened. "Presumptuous, are we?"

I nodded, keeping my emotions off my face. "Yes, and I'm going to be more presumptuous by thinking you love your eldest son."

Kind Thranduil growled ferally, but Queen Tarellethiel placed a soothing hand on his chest. "Of course, we do, child. What do wish of us, concerning Legolas?"

"Answers." I answered. "I want honest answers, no beating around the bush, no half-assed reassurances, no nonchalance. I want full answers, so I can decide whether or not this is important."

The two exchanged looks. "You are talking of the connection shared between you and Legolas." King Thranduil remarked. I nodded, and with a sigh he waved to the seat across from them.

Queen Tarellethiel sat up slightly. "My love, he does not want us to!" She exclaimed softly.

"No, but she deserves to know. She is intelligent, she will find out eventually and the longer it takes, the more it will not end well for our son. I love him, and he is very bright, but he does not know what he is doing in this."

Queen Tarellethiel sighed. "You speak true, Husband, as usual."

I chuckled at the look he gave her, one of smugness. "What's wrong, Sire, not used to being told you're right?"

He looked to me. "Hardly, though never from my love." He shifted. "Now, you wish to have answers, answers you shall get."

~X~X~X~X~

I wasn't even sure how to react. This was nuts! I shared a permanent elvish bond, much like that of a marriage bond, with Legolas! Nos that I am aware of it, and know how to feel it, I could feel everything he was feeling.

He was in the garden, wrestling both twins at once and having a good time of it. I could feel his happiness, his love for his friends and family, I could feel the love he held for me, though it was strange and unconventional, and I could feel, deep down inside, the innate fear he held for the loss of his naneth, which was mother in elvish. I only noticed it because it was the most prominent fear, but there were others there as well.

I felt angry with him, for keeping it from me, for not explaining it from the beginning. But, I didn't blame him. It was permanent, there wasn't anything anyone could do to change it, and Legolas was probably having a hard time copping with the thought that he may have, accidentally, ruined any chance he might have had at finding a wife. I can understand, for someone who has wanted a wife and family for nearly as long as he'd been alive, that would be a very daunting thing.

However, I couldn't reason my own feelings quite so well. I was understanding of him, he was trying to make me feel comfortable and help me. I felt scared, what was going to come of this? Gulity, the blame of his siblings, now made so much sense. Betrayal, why couldn't he tell me? Why'd I have to drive it out of his parents, using their love of him as blackmail?!

I also felt lost, out of control. I wanted to scream at the fact that I couldn't do anything. I wanted to find my control again, I had it for a short time, but it was suddenly got in a single moment. I was lost, wandering in an elvish world in a body that didn't belong to me. I'd found myself, or something similar to myself, but suddenly I was gone again. I didn't know even the basics of being an elf and here I was now lost in a bond that would forever judge the future of my life.

I needed help.

"Thank you, Sire." I tried to keep the emotion out of my words and off my face, but the lightness of my voice said it wasn't working as well as I thought.

"Are you alright, Dear?" Queen Tarellethiel asked.

I nodded, standing up. "Yeah, I'm fine." I fiddled with the top of my walking stick. "Thank you, again, for telling me. I'm glad it's not something that waited a few years." The look Queen Tarellethiel said I wasn't playing my cool very well, but all I wanted to do was sleep. I wanted to lay down and sleep off all this emotion, so I could talk to Legolas without freaking out in anyway.

King Thranduil leveled me with a hard glare. "I can see your look, girl. If you hurt my son, in any way, I _will_ make you pay for it." I sighed, running my hand through my braided hair, but didn't answer. I turned to leave the room, but the Queen spoke this time.

"Éponine, you are a good girl, good natured and smart. I like you, Dear, you have the potential to be something great…" She paused, and her voice went colder than even the King's. "It's my turn to give warning. If you cause my son pain, I will destroy your life one small bit at a time."

I turned back to her, meeting her hard look. "I believe you," I answered softly, then left, going straight to my bed. I fell asleep as soon as I laid down, much to my appreciation.

~X~X~X~X~

 _"Éponine, Child!" I heard the call echo through my dark mind. I registered, it was my name, and someone was calling me, but I felt heavy._

 _"Éponine!" Hearing the call again, I turned to it Letting the light guide me, I floated toward the sound._

 _The weight on my mind lightened as the darkness fell away to reveal the beautiful willow, beside the lake, in the garden where I met the Three Sisters. I looked around in awe, and confusion. Why was I here? Was there more that they hadn't told me?_

 _"Éponine?" I turned at the sound of Oropher's voice. He stood just a bit off, a look of surprise on his face. "What are you doing here, Child?"_

 _I shrugged, shaking my head. "I have no idea. I went to sleep, and just—"_

 _He smiled, holding his hand out for mine. "Oh, I see. You hold deep questions of the future, Dear One. Come, I may be able to help you."_

 _I took his hand and together, we walked through the garden, listening to the sweet music of the night. "I remember," he suddenly spoke, "the first time I saw my wife." He looked down at me. "I didn't think she was beautiful, not right off. She has a sister, you know, prettiest elleth you'll ever meet, except you, of course. I was taken with her, her sister, I mean, right off. Nanethiel was easily over-looked, I'm not proud of this, but still, I was a young fool, who thought he was in love. Anyway, I courted her, Nanethiel's sister, but the more I got to know her, the more I disliked her. She was vain, spiteful, proud, more than a little self-centered. After a while, I cut it off. I never even considered Nanethiel. Though she was never with her sister, I naturally assumed the two were alike."_

 _He sighed. "Aw, but the Valar weren't daunted at the prospect of my prejudice judgment. I was—" He paused, "you know, I don't actually remember why I was there that day, but I was near her house one day, quite randomly. The two sisters had long passed from my mind, but I was outside their house at a shop across the street. A fire broke out. Her sister and mother made it out, but she'd been caught upstairs, somewhere near the middle of the house, unable to get out or even find a window._

 _"Call me stupid, but in a death-defying act, I charged into the burning building to get her. I found her easily enough, but by that time, the place was an inferno and she had already passed out from lack of oxygen. Picking her up, I charged to the nearest window. We fell ten feet to the cobbled street below, breaking more bones then I'll ever own to." I couldn't help but giggle at his indignation._

 _"We spent nearly two weeks in the Healing Houses, but in that time, I realized how well we went together. By the time, our confinement ended, I was smitten."_

 _I giggled again. "That's adorable."_

 _He chuckled as well. "It is rather sappy, I admit, but 'tis the truth."_

 _I sighed, thinking about the unfortunate_ situation _back home. "Oh, I would that it should be that easy."_

 _He stopped, turning me to face him. "That story had a moral." He stated._

 _I frowned. "What? The story of how you met your wife has a moral?"_

 _He chuckled. "Not like that! What I meant was, I have an idea as to why you are here and I, at the same time. Your mind is heavy with a situation that is beyond your control. The moral of the story is: Trust the Valar, for they shall never be daunted in the sight of a foolish elf. When in doubt, pray to Eru. It will give you reassurance and the Valar will know you are in need."_

 _I sighed, but a small smile began to play on my face. I could hardly believe it, but he was actually helping. He's right, the situation is beyond mine, and Legolas' control. There was no going back from what was done. It was unfortunate, but if what he said was true, the Valar wouldn't be daunted by the bond I now shared with Legolas. The person we were meant to be with would come, and we would still work together, as we should._

 _I broke into a light chuckle, which easily grew until I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Oropher's smile lifted my heart as easily as my laughter did. "It seems my work here is done."_

 _I smiled brightly, nodding. "It seems so. Thank you so much. I'm sure I would have dwelled on it for days, before I managed to calm myself down."_

 _He cupped my face in his hand and kissed my forehead, in a very fatherly manner. "I am glad to be of help, Dear. Now, it is time to wake. Come visit again soon," he paused with a knowing smile, "but not too soon."_

 _I nodded, then in a split-second decision, I wrapped my arms around my waist. "Thank you," I whispered. I closed my eyes, only to open them a second later, to the light that was filtering in from the window in my room at the Last Homely House._

 _I don't know who Oropher was, when he was alive, but he must have been very wise and powerful, and undoubtedly a very good father. And now, I felt like he was my father...well, another father. A father in my dreams._


	9. Chapter 8 Dear Friends

**A/N: Thank you, REMdream, Galadrielcats, AndruilofTolkien, for reviewing. I'm glad you all like it. We're getting closer to the end of this part of My Mind and My Memory. I hope you like the little fluffy moment between Legolas and Eponine.**

The beautiful morning sun woke me. It streamed through my window in eye-piercing rays, making me want to sneeze. I rose and with the help of my walking stick, I dressed. I decided to wear silver leggings with a dark green tunic and matching brown boots and belt. I braided my hair and washed my face. I could tell it was much earlier then I normally woke up, but that didn't bother me. I had found a new sense of peace at Oropher's words and I found it and the faith he convinced me to have in the Valar and Eru—the deities of Middle Earth—carried over to my obsessive-compulsiveness-mostly. Knowing breakfast would not be served for another hour at least, I decided to test the limit of peace of mind and meandered down to the gardens.

I was absolutely awed. Imlardis was so beautiful in the early dawn, I felt guilty for not getting up early, sooner. The pale alabaster of the Last Homely House shone like a pearl in the morning, shinning like it was made of light. The early birds called, their songs echoing across the valley, mixing with soft, ever-constant roar of the many waterfalls and the rustling of the trees in the early morning breeze. The air was cool and sweet-smelling, like flowers.

The trees of the garden sang soft early morning lullabies, teasing my faë with what I could only akin them to kisses. I couldn't help my soft smile as I closed my eyes and lost myself to the beauty of the morning.

"What are you doing up?!" The peace in my heart didn't sway as Legolas' voice graced the morning.

"I was done sleeping." I answered, opening my eyes and turning to him. I gasped. He was dazzling—he stood bathed in the brilliant light of the dawn. It encompassed him, and yet he absorbed it, only to cast it back out to the world from within, dazzling the world with his fair illumination.

A soft smirk played on his lips as he tilted his head, regarding me. I felt a small fluttering in his faë, but it was soon hidden from me. "Why do you look at me like that?"

I flushed, shaking my head. "No reason." Shaking it again, I tried to clear my head. To help, I turned away. What on earth was that? That was not me!

"I've been meaning to talk to you," He said, stepping up beside me, his arm brushing mine, sending sharp tingles through me.

Slightly startled, I took half a step to the side, turning to him at him again, as an excused for stepping away. "Good, I wanted to talk too."

Another smile blossomed on his face and though his wasn't standing in the sunshine anymore, he still seemed to glow, just much more subtly. He offered his arm to me, in a very old-fashioned and courtly way. "Would you care to take a stroll with me?" He asked, bowing dramatically.

I sniggered. "Well aren't you a gentleman." He chuckled, but didn't answer, simply taking my right hand and placing on his left arm just above his bent elbow, before leading us through the garden with no particular destination in mind. I smiled, relaxing, as I often was in his presence, and let my other hand rest easily just below my right.

"Éponine," he starts, "we're leaving next week, back home." He paused, looking at me, his expression was strained. "I would like, if you will allow…" he paused again. I stifled a giggle as his face went pink with embarrassment.

"You okay?" I asked, not doing a too good a job hiding my amusement at his predicament.

He growled, snapping his head to the side, so his hair fell over his face, hiding it from view. "Shut up." It wasn't a command, it was more like a frazzled request.

I chuckled. "Well, while you are finding the courage to ask whatever it is you want to ask, I want to talk." He looked back at me and my face went serious. "Legolas, I understand," I murmured. "I know what we share, and I know why you wouldn't want me to know. I understand how hard this must be for you, and I know you're doing you best. I don't blame you in any way and I don't mind."

As I spoke, his face turned from flustered to serious to terribly worried and enormously guilty. "Who told you?" He asked.

"Your parents."

Based on what the king and queen had said about Legolas not wanting me to know, and being unhappy at me being told, I expected him to be at least a little angry, but the anger didn't come. His kind silvery-blue eyes showed nothing but guilt and pain.

"I'm sorry, Éponine." He whispered. "I shouldn't have kept it from you, but I hardly knew how to handle it myself. To you everything is new and different. I didn't want to force such a thing on you."

I couldn't help my smile as I turned to look out over the beautiful garden. Flowers of all sizes and colors bloomed with tall beautiful trees and the soft prefect summer green grass. I realized I was irrevocably in love with the world around me, the elvish sanctuary that had become my home. I thought about Oropher and his amazing little romantic story and smiled much more brightly.

"I learned, from a dear friend, Eru is never daunted in the face of the mistakes of his Children." I turned my eyes back to him, to find him watching me, open awe on his face. Pushing aside my confusion at his expression I continued. "The Valar and though them, Eru, are more then used to us simple fools making mistakes. If you or I have a soulmate, or faëmate, out there somewhere, we'll find them. No matter how stupid we act, or close-minded, or down right bitter, everything will happen as it is supposed to, because they know what they're doing and Eru knows us better then we know ourselves." I smirked at him and the smile growing in his eyes. "After all, isn't it your lore that says He sang us into existence? Wouldn't you know something so completely, inside out, upside down, and backwards, if you'd created a whole song, just for them?"

Legolas stared at me for a little while before the smile finally appeared on his lips, followed quickly by his laugh. It was bright and beautiful, as he was, seemingly without fault—which was impossible of course, but the thought is nice. "I can't believe it, but that actually made me feel better!" He exclaimed brightly. "I've been brooding over this for ages!"

I shrugged, smiling. "I feel better now, I only had an hour or two to brood, at the most."

He chuckled again, before taking a deep breath. "Well, with that over, I feel much more comfortable asking; may I write you?"

I frowned. "Write me? What do you mean?"

"When we are gone, do I have your permission to send you letters, and would you…perhaps…write back?"

I burst into gales of laughter, much to his indignation. "OH! Of course! I'd love to write to you, Legolas." I answered between breaths of laughter.

He huffed, folding his arms across his chest, facing me with a comically dramatic look of disapproval on his face. "You don't have to laugh at me. It is a very courteous thing to ask a lady's permission before writing to her."

I continued to laugh as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck to hug him. "I figured, but you were so awkwardly cute about it, I couldn't help it." He remained tense under my hug, but after a while relented with a sigh and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me.

"You're mean," he muttered in my ear, but made no move to pull away.

I sniggered again. "I know, but you like me anyway." I answered, pulling away. "I'm glad to be your friend Legolas."

He smiled, taking my hand, leading us back toward the Homely House for breakfast, a jovial bounce in his step. "As am I, Éponine!"

I smiled. "Nîn, Legolas. You can call me Nîn."

He pulled me into his arms again, planting a kiss to my forehead. "Then I shall, Nîn, for I feel you will become my dearest friend."

I found myself, as we walked back to the Homely House, looking forward to Legolas' departure and further, the coming of his letters. I found though I would miss him when he was gone, but the thought of getting to know him through old-fashioned letter-sending was an adorably romantic notion. And I agreed, I felt like we would become very dear friends and I liked that thought too.


	10. Chapter 9 The Malicious Winds of Change

**First, super, super, SUPER sorry it took so damn long to update. I've been working on a different fandom. I'm also sorry for the strange mess up when I first updated. Hopefully I fixed it. Here's the next chapter. Also, please read the AN at the bottom, it's important.**

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The time of their departure did come, two weeks later. During those two weeks, in the mornings from sunrise until noon, I was with Elrond in the Healing Halls, learning all I needed to know about taking care of elves—the difference in anatomy, elves compared to humans, was astounding, something I never would have guessed, based on looks. In the afternoons, I spent hours with Legolas, either watching him train, exploring Imlardis with him.

After he left, the highlight of my week was the Sundays when his letters came in. Time passed, more than I ever even realized, most of the time. My schedule was regulated and perfect. I was content to see my days pass by without trouble, change, or worry.

Ten years passed, ten fast years. In the spring Arwen decided to visit my adopted grandparents, that I've never met before, so when the time came for her to come home, Lady Celebrian decided to take me with her, to meet them. We'd all come home together.

"Do you have to go?" Lord Elrond asked, for the forty-second time in three days. "Can you not wait for a better time?"

"Better time, Elrond? When is there ever going to be a good time to travel across the Misty Mountains?" While I agreed with my adopted mother, I also agreed with my adopted father. The roads were dangerous, some of the mountain passes were simply swarming with orcs. It worried me to go through the mountains, but…I was also curious to meet Lady Celebrian's parents.

Lord Elrond was silent, before pulling Lady Celebrian into a tight hug. "I apologize, Meleth-nin," he murmured, "But I worry for you."

He met my eyes over Lady Celebrian's shoulder. "All of you. Just…be careful, please? And keep with your escort."

Lady Celebrian kissed her husband. "Of course. Come, Nîn, we must leave before the sun is up, else we will be stuck in the mountains during the night."

I nodded, but as she left the room, I turned to Lord Elrond. "It'll be alright." I said softly. "We'll be safe." For reasons beyond me, I had the distinct feeling this was not so.

Lord Elrond sighed, before pulling me into his arms, enveloping me in the tell-tale sent of ink, books, and honey. "Come back to me, Nîn." He said softly. "Don't forget to come back."

I nodded, accepting his love. "I will."

We pulled away. He caught my face in his hands and kissed my forehead softly. "Safe travels, Iell-nin."

~X~X~X~X~

The shadows of the mountains darkened over us, the sun had passed from sight long ago, but sunset and total darkness were at least four hours away. We weren't being particularly quiet, or any such thing and I was nervous. I wasn't paranoid, I just wasn't comfortable.

"Éponine, my sweet," Lady Celebrian addressed me softly, "What is bothering you?"

I looked over at her. She always stole my breath away with her beautiful pale form, everything about her spoke of grace, beauty, wisdom, and kindness. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I'm just nervous. Something doesn't feel right."

She smiled gently at me, reaching over and squeezing one hand. "All is well, my sweet, we are protected."

I nodded, but I couldn't get Lord Elrond's warning out of my head and I hated not knowing—anything. I sighed shifting in my saddle, but suddenly I tense when the scuttering of falling pebbles alerts me to the presence of something in the pass other than us.

"Captain Herion," I started to say, but the orcs came out of nowhere. Bella, my horse, screamed in terror, rearing as a large orc jumped at me. With the speed and agility, I'd all but forgotten about I leapt from the saddle, hit the ground and rolled. I came up again just as Bella fell dead and the orc turned to Lady Celebrian.

"Cele—" My scream was cut off as a sharp pain sliced across my arm. I spun and caught an orc in the nose with my elbow. Playing dirty I knead him in his 'manliness' and ended the fight with a swift beheading using his own blade. I turned back to Lady Celebrian just in time to see four orcs drag her off.

She screamed, her faë calling out to me, but my way was blocked by two ugly brutes. "Well, look at this little mouthful, bet she could give a pretty good fuck!"

I growled tensely and despite the warning the Sisters had given me, I lowered into the familiar beginning battle stance. The two laughed but drew their blades. I leapt first, engaging the one on the right in a deadly dance, the second one stepped back with a smirk, letting his companion take my onslaught.

I thrust, parried, blocked, dancing around him searching for an opening, then just as I saw one, I felt the muscle in my right thigh rip and suddenly explode in pain. I screamed and crumbled to the ground, the world around me going black. Fear screamed in my mind.

~X~X~X~X~

I jerked awake with a shriek as the foulest cold water suddenly brought my mind from the black of unconsciousness. I stifled a cry when a twinge of pain shot through my right leg, but that became the least of my worries as dark laughter filled the cave, we were in. I didn't get a look around before an enormous orc suddenly yanked my up by my hair. I winced in pain but couldn't tear my eyes away from the brutish creature before me.

His skin was dark gray and his eyes red as blood. He wore a feral smirk, long dark fangs jutted down over his bottom lips. His dark dreads were pulled back with a leather cord that matched the black leather he wore. He smelt horrendous, to say the least.

"Looks like the little warrior's awake!" My heart, already pounding, was going to fast for words. "The boys were right, you're a right pretty fuck."

I couldn't seem to think straight. I was resisting every instinct in me, urging me to rip the _thing's_ hands out of my hair. "Let go of me," I muttered softly.

He burst into roaring laughter, that was like a knife in my ear. The very sound of it was physically painful. He dropped my hair, letting me fall to the cave floor. I caught myself, but too my horror, I'd been dropped right into half decomposed bones.

My half-stifled shriek caused another round of harsh laughter. My world was spinning, my head pounded, everything wasn't right. It couldn't be right. I wanted to go home, even before the whip, I wanted to go home.

Even after it lifted, and I felt the white-hot crack I could only think, feel, and function on my want to be home, in Lord Elrond's arms.

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 **IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!**

 **Hey, this is then end of The Beginning. Next starts the beginning of the three part split. I'll start with Rescued and every break-off after that, then go on to Changing, and last Lost. I hope you all understand, enjoy, and continue to follow.**


	11. NOT A CHAPTER

Hey, my little lovelies!

GUEEEEESS WHA~AT?!

The first chapter of My Mind and My Memory: The Changing is up!

Please read!

P.S. I know it's been forever. I know I can be sporadic in my updating, but I won't abandon anything. Even A Penny For My Thoughts will be back, I'm just a little slow in the rewrite.


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